Help!! Sex problems led to one night stand!
i am a man of 26 married with 2 kids and 1 due very soon. now considering this, sex has never been a good point of our realationship, once or twice every couple of weeks and my wife never seems to enjoy it although we've tried different things nothing seems to work she only prefers it in bed at night and in the same old boring position i've never gave her an orgasm during intercourse its always had to be done 'manually'. now on fri night after the drink was flowing i walked a 16 yr old home and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex, now i deeply regret what i done and i have told my wife who forgave me. but i cannot get that night of my mind, the sex was great and she was really into it and made me feel as if i was a man. i cannot get this girl outta my mind what makes it worse is we only live a few doors away. ive tried for the past few years to tell my wife my problems about sex but nothing ever happens we just end up bk with the same old routine. now i really love my wife and kids dearly but i jus tdont know wat to do :'(
I'd tell the 16yr old that whilst you admit you had a good time, you're married with kids and it was an irresponsible thing to do, and you don't want it to happen again. That may at the very least put in her mind that you want to be left to your own devices, because I think if you don't do this, she could just keep coming back for more, and you'll be tempted to stray again. You've done the right thing telling your wife - I'm really suprised she let you off, so your relationship must be pretty resilient. Instead of thinking about sex with the girl, you need to think about how much you care about your kids, because if you lose your wife for a bit of candy, then you know what is likely to happen don't you?
yeah i know exactly wat will happen n i dont waana lose my wife or kids! now i aint seen this girl since that night but i know she felt as guilty as me afterwards and i know it wont happen again. but my wife was my firs tsexual experience and having this its given me a taste of wat sex can b like i know its wong.i have sat dwn and spoke to my wife about this but she jus tdont seem bothered, i mean i can hardly blame her at the moment but i know saying anything to her wont change anything i suppose i just really needed to get this off my chest because i have no-one else to speak to.
I know what you mean. Loads of people have this feeling after a different experience than what they are used to in their normal lives - almost like a special connection has been made. Afterwards, there is a feeling that lingers where part of you wants more of this experience because it fills a gap, a fantasy almost. Maybe if you explain to you wife that you live her very much, and the only thing you could improve in your relationship to make you feel more whole was the sex, maybe she can start to take this more seriously. If you don't make an attempt to achieve some kind of resolution, you will end up lusting after other women as you are not getting the satisfaction your body desires. I have known situations where it is the women not getting the satisfaction, so their husbands ended up agreeing to their wives hitting the town and pulling men just for sex - a strange arrangement to have, but nonetheless, it worked for them. Now I'm not suggesting this as a solution, but just demonstrating how radical some fixes often turn out to be for some people to achieve harmony and continue a non-sexual co-existence / relationship where both partners are happy - seemingly!
You have the best things in life-a loving,forgiving wife, children and a home. Lust is nature's trick to get us to reproduce-try to see it for what it is. Surprise your wife-and she might surprise you. Could you arrange a weekend away, just you and her? Champagne, roses a change of surroundings and time off from the everyday could do wonders.
Go to relate immediately with your wife and book in to see a sex therapist. They will support you both whilst you work through the sexual difficulties your wife appears to have including why you were unfaith ful and your wifes troubles re:reaching orgasm, enjouyment of sex ect, it must have been very difficult for you over the years to feel your wife does not enjoy sex, that must leave you feeling lonely, perhaps she has her own issues that makes her feel lonely as well. Try and get these pdroblems resolved asap before any more infidelities risk ruining the security your children enjoy. Through working through your problems with your wife you have the potential to go deeper and find more intimacy and a loving relationship that you would not be able to find with agirl of 16 years.