OK so we met back in Feb, well kinda... Saw each other in passing, the small talk and all in passing.... Some stuff happened and we were drawn together in May.... Passed phone numbers and decided on a date..... I ended up staying at his place for a week (my child was visiting her grandparents and I hated being home alone) anyways, I had a blast and fell for him instantly handsome single father of two boys both under two! even knowing he was moving four hours away soon... I just cell while trying not to.... I became injured lost my job, and a month later decided to visit him on a vacation type deal.... Me and my daughter set off for our three day get away.... He's staying with friends and when we arrive, we stay our three days and were planning on leaving the next. We had at this point officially became boyfriend and girlfriend.... The land lord arrives this night and makes me him and our three kids leave.... I feel as if this is my fault automatically!!!! Now he has no home, new job and no one to watch his two boys, so I keep them the next day while he goes to work... I end up staying to help... We lived rough for a minute but are now in a nice comfortable 3 bedroom, and so forth.... Since June we havehad sex maybe three times, kissing is usually no more than a peck on the cheek, he's great with our kids but as far as intimacy with me .... Very minimal... He says I love u all that... I take care of kids all house work (and trust me he likes it spotless) all cooking everything, I try to initiate sex and am shot down... But yet find him jacking off to porn.... Help me please someone!!!!!
Sounds like he's addicted to porn and that's where he gets his jollies so to speak. Men are visual by nature and the fact that he's into porn... Well, that can have adverse effects on intimacy with a woman.
I have not met 1 man who does not like porn. At this point you're his housekeeper/babysister/cook but not his sex partner. You should REALLY sit down have a honest talk about his/yours expections of this relationship. Since he's into porn to the point he has no desire for you, suggest that you both watch it, explain to him that your sex life is very important to you. Tell him his behavior/lack of intimacy is making you feel unwanted and rejected.
Ask him to explain his behavior. I agree with Knot2loud that this continued behavior can have adverse effects on intimacy with a woman,and you're that woman at the moment. Sit down and talk.
Soulmate I read your link which really gave me a better insight. If men introduce watching porn into the relationship and made the women feel part of the expierence by mimmicking the movie would this help women not feel so threaten?
It really depends on the woman, her personality combined with how she was raised and her particular experiences plus whether she already somehow genuinely appreciates porn (or could), or whether she's basically paying for a relationship by abandoning her principles (which then begs the question whether she'd even be aware if she was). Also, it depends most of all on the nature of the porn films.
There's a relatively 'new kid' on the porn scene, I believe. A German female producer. Petra Joy. Allegedly, her stuff is far superior, not just in terms of believable scripts and dialogue and higher calibre of cinematography, but also through being geared specifically towards a '(straight) couples in loving relationships' audience, meaning it's more classy and sensual than the male-produced versions without losing its main (ahem!) objective. (Apparently, even the male viewers find themselves nicely surprised.)
This makes perfect sense to me when I've always maintained that romance is porn for the intellect. So I guess her films must have found that difficult and elusive middle ground of how to please both the man and the woman. If it's true - clever lady!
I won't say she comes recommended, for obvious reasons (ha-ha). But it's a name to watch out for if teammate EQUALITY - ACROSS THE BOARD - is the order of the day, rather than the woman accommodating the man's needs to the exclusion of her own (and he having his usual lack of appreciation for non-direct, non-instant consequences). But that's like anything when in a romantic relationship with a man, isn't it: tit for tat/compromise equals both parties happy. And if both parties are genuinely equally happy then, if it's what lit their particular candles they could even go so far as to both dress up as circus clowns and insert bananas up their jacksies, LOL.
Does that answer your question?
Yes it did! Thank you so much.