I'm stuck between the father of my daughter and family
My baby's daddy (Adam) and I have a 13 month aged daughter. We're both 25 years. We don't live together because we still don't have enough money to move out. He lives with his mother and I live with my parents and our daughter. My mother hated Adam right from the start even though she never met him nor talked to him she just heard things about him from my aunts and cousin and didn't want him around me or his child. I always had to sneak behind her back and lie to her to go see Adam while I was pregnant. She would get so mad at me when she'd find out I had been with him and one time while I was 7months pregnant I sat on the kitchen table crying from being so hormonal and all she could say was good this is what you deserve for spreading your legs whore. I yelled at her crying and told her to please shut up mom. she just went inside her room and slammed the door. NEVER did she apologize for what she said. On the day of our baby shower he ended up being the only man there amongst all the women. He sat by my side and didn't care when he went to greet my aunt with a handshake and introduce himself she replied in a harsh and cruel tone "GO SIT DOWN ADAM I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOU" with her finger pointing at the chair next to me. He just stared at her tears swelled in his eyes but he didn't shed a single one he felt broken and just turned around and sat next to me. Everyone was staring at him. He felt humiliated. On the day that our daughter was born, my mother drove me to the hospital early in the morning about an hour later Adam was calling and my mother said "DON'T ANSWER TO HIM, HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE HERE" I felt very sad and ignored her request and answered his call anyways and told him our daughter is about to be born so he rushed over to the hospital and made in just in time. Our baby girl was born on Fathers Day. He stayed with me for 3 days at the hospital. When we were released from the hospital he dropped me and the baby off at my moms and my mom said to him "thank you, you can go home now" He tried coming over to visit his daughter for the next few months as much as he could before work and after work but my mother was always so rude to him and would tell him to leave. When my daughter was about 2 months old I was doing laundry and my mom said to me very cruel "I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANT HIM WHEN HES BEEN CHEATING ON YOU AND DOES DRUGS, TELL HIM TO GET THAT OTHER GIRL PREGNANT AND LEAVE YOU ALONE!" I started crying so much I called him and texted him so many mean things and told him i hated him and to f off and he will never see me or the baby again. He called me back and asked me "whats going on?" i told him what my mother told me and he started crying saying it was all a lie and that my family is just trying to separate us. I continued to cry and ever since then I haven't been okay. I just found out my mom lied to me. She tries to win over my daughters love and tells me to leave but to leave my daughter with her. I am angry frustrated sad confused. Adam and I have been into sooo many fights and arguments because of my family I have slapped him He has shoved me and yelled at me he has cried outside my house I have cried outside his. We've been trying to work but depression has kept us from moving forward as we should. We have a decent amount of money but not enough to move out. I dont know what to do. I want to leave Adam and just take my daughter and make a living with her only and leave my family behind as well. ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! :'
Your family's reaction to this man is EXTREME!
So ... DOES he use drugs and have another GF?
Does he work? Why is it that he has not made moves to provide for you and your child? At 25 and living with his parents, he should have the $$ to provide for you.
Something else is going on here. How is it that two 25 year olds can't get the means to be together?
he smokes weed and no he doesn't have another girlfriend. My married sister has a husband that smokes weed and drinks all day. My brother and his girlfriend (who aren't married) also smoke weed and drink ALLL the time. My mom likes all of them. There have been stories about my sisters husband cheating on her. My mom still likes him. They lived with my mom for 3 years after the wedding and hardly ever paid rent. My mom and dad put a down payment on a HOME for them to move them out. My mom doesn't like me or my bf because WE DIDNT GET MARRIED FIRST. thats it!
Yes we both work . He works full time I work part time because I have to finish college I can't just stop school. The pay we earn is not enough and up to this point we only have 2k saved. We both pay our mothers 300/month and buy our daughter what she needs diapers milk clothes etc. My mom never let him see his child from the day she was born she didn't even allow me taking our daughter to his house. I have always been controlled by my parents. I was never allowed to date or really go out with friends so i just stayed home like a good girl going to school full time and barely working just to PLEASE THEM because thats what they liked, me staying home studying doing homework without a real life.
When I met my babys daddy I fell in love but because I didn't ask for my parents approval first HE WAS NOT OKAY. My two older sisters were forced to leave ex boyfriends because of my mother and ended up with men that ONLY MY PARENTS APPROVED.
Im just really mad at the way my mom and her sisters and sisters daughters treated him. I think its because he's not ugly THE WOMAN in my family hated on him. Plus they practice black magic and a bunch weird rituals.
I just wish they'd leave us alone. One time me and My babys daddy were at the store buying our daughter supplies and I guess my aunt saw us. Earlier that evening she comes over and she had no idea i was home but i heard her from my room saying "guess who i saw at the store with your grandaughter? Adam and Edith (me)" My mom was like yea those f'rs are always together and I'm about to take that child away from them. WE ARE HER PARENTS!
but up to this point were thinking of moving into a mobile home. He just got hired at a hotel for better pay. And going through all this PLUS POSTPARTUM depression made me so sick i ended up in the hospital for 9 days due to heart rate problems blood pressure problems and liver problems. this was seriously it for me!
you know what surprises me the most??? THAT HE HASNT LEFT ME YET! even if he does i'd completely understand but he says no matter what they do I LOVE YOU EDITH and this makes me feel worse about myself i cry so bad knowing he doesn't deserve this and maybe theres a better family out there for him that would accept him.
Stop giving your family so much power!! If you REALLY wanted to be together, you two would make this happen.
So - what keeps you from getting an apartment together? Is it that deep down you DON'T feel this guy can take care of you, so it's easier to put up with all the craziness and verbal abuse your family gives you?
Time to show your family that you two are willing to go out there, as a couple, self-sufficient to make this work. Talk to him about what HIS plan is to take care of his child and you.
PS Your mother would have to go to court and have you declared an incompetent parent in order to get custody of your child. She is bullying you.