Starting a new relationship
I was in relationship for 7 years and was to end it mutually as we didn't had any future. We both were aware that it will end this way but we feel in deep love. Its very hard to move on and its even harder as I think I have totally forgotten how to ask someone out or make judgement if they are interested and so on.
I don't go out much as I don't have many friends because past 7 years my life was just revolving around my ex-girlfriend. Now she is gone I am left alone. Anyways recently I got attracted to my flatmates best friend. She knows everything about my past relationship. She was quite interested in me when I had my first breakup in December. She invited me along with her friend for new years etc. But I never I asked her out and I went back to my ex-grilfriend.
Now as we have decided to completely end the relationship I want to ask my flatmate's friend for a movie or anything simple. So I decided to send her Facebook message asking how she is and thought if she reply then I can start conversation and ask for movie. But she didn't reply at all!!! I messaged her yesterday evening.
I need advise if I should message her again or have any hope from her. I also don't want to ruin relationship with my flatmate.
Talk to your flatmate. Maybe she doesn't want to be a rebound. Try talking to her in person or over the phone. Or just straight out ask her out for lunch or something like that
I wouldn't bloomin' reply, either.
Ask me why, go on. Or see if you can guess.
Thank you 'Hi' and 'Soulmate' for reply.
Soulmate, I am sorry nothing comes to mind, can you please explain 'why'
You're welcome. Hope it all works out
Okay. Here's me "being" this girl, discussing it with a girl friend:
"I'm not falling for that one again. Last time I did that he left me high and dry to go back to his girlfriend. How do I know he won't just do the exact same thing all over again, how humiliating would THAT be?! Plus, he's only just, very recently, broken up with her, meaning, even if she and he ARE really done this time, he'll hardly be ready to dive into another relationship this incredibly soon, will he? I think if he was REALLY into me then, because of what occurred last time, he would have shown it by making a more concrete move, like picking up the phone to ask me straight-up, for a date, not sending me a piddly string of text from afar - how's THAT supposed to impress and reassure me?! I haven't even been out with the guy yet and already I'm feeling like he thinks I'm his consolation prize, his 'better-than-nothing' gal, his 'worth-a-half-a*sed-shot' gal (or that I scare the bejesus out of him or something)!"
That's if her feelings are reciprocal, of course. If not, then she could be signalling that she's not interested any more and wasn't actually all that overly interested last time. But you won't know until you actually try, and try *properly*, will you. Can't be all that a*sed sown, equals can't be all that a*sed reaped. In which case, HI could well be right and it IS too soon. After all, you did say yourself how "Now she is gone I am left alone."
Not wanting to be alone is not the same as wanting to be with one person in particular above all others, romantically, and is a faux motivation. Pure attraction both mental and physical/chemical is the only genuine-article motivation that can power a relationship beyond the short term. If based on a need that's temporary and likely to change/improve with time, i.e. a circumstantial one, then once that need has ceased to exist or been sated the 'house's' very foundation will cease along with it, meaning, the entire building will immediately fall down flat.
Food for thought?