Extortion by husband's exwife
One year ago my husband gave his 8 year old son is old phone. He removed the SIM card assuming this would clear out all of the data on the phone. Of course it didn't.
The ex wife has been in possession of this phone that is entirely full of naked photos, videos as well as personal information.
She refuses to return the phone and my husband doesn't try very hard to get it back.
How can I get this phone back?
That's a bummer. Make a trade? Your husband for the phone maybe.
Can you just shut if off?
Shutting the phone off won't help as it didn't have service when he gave it to the kid.
We are talking about stored information. Photos, video, contacts and text messages, email etc...
Trading the husband for the phone is a trade I am willing to make at this point! That's a good one! Thank you for the comic relief. That actually really helped.
Why is the ex-wife so mad at you or he or the pair of you as has her refusing?
I don't know if she is so much angry - as she is just a soulless human who enjoys having any sort of power play.
She has "golden uterus syndrome" and is using this as leverage to secure more financial support.
Consider the phone gone. Your husband should discuss this with his legal counsel for advice. A letter from his attorney putting her on notice to return the phone, that none of the documents, e-mails, pics, personal information be released,distributed, forwarded,shared used in way to anyone. Even if she returns the phone there's no guarantee that your information will not be used in some manner.
Putting her on notice exposes her hand. Has she threaten your husband in any way?
How is she using this as leverage? Threatening to release his/yours personal info?
Why hasn't anyone mentioned the child and him/her being in possession of this phone containing all this stuff? Surely this woman is not letting this child have this phone. So . . . what is it good for?
Your husband should be assured that the child does not have that phone. If the ex does, then she can do what he wants.
Stop making this so important. Forget about the phone. Let her keep it. She's got way too much power here.
Well done, Susie, yes - my first thoughts exactly: what about the kiddie and whether he might have clocked this x-rated stuff!
FYI: GU is a Complex. Aids is a syndrome. (- My inner pedant made me say that.)
(...And this -) Unless you're a psychiatrist then, unfortunately, saying she "has" GU Complex is merely an uneducated, emotional posset-ing, because she *could*, you see, just as simply be a complete an utter COW, unused to not getting her way! Or, giving her and her action the benefit of the doubt, perhaps *is* normally a lovely lady (hmmm) but for so long got plonked into a state of chronic stress by your [cough!] ever so problem-attentive, responsible, gung-ho, Action Man/rescuer of a husband (whom obviously is on her front lawn, furiously wrestling her for the phone, as we speak ;-)) that she has yet to get over that whole event, hence is still at anywhere between DefCon 3 and 1 *and acting accordingly*.
Get what I'm saying? ;-) So I'm on your side, but *not* on his in view of his inappropriate lack of willingness to put his foot down, because this giant action (or refusal to act, I should say) demonstrates he's one of those "own worst enemies" types, sad to say. And you've possibly simply got pulled into their lingering boxing ring.
But anyway, let me put it this way: Were you once this man's mistress and/or someone he'd once known and/or dated long before he'd even met her, with whom he reunited (say, through social media or organised reunion bash)? Or might she in actual fact be *justified* in trying to get an increase via such desperate (and frankly, potentially illegal) tactics? I mean, are you privy to exactly how much (in pounds and pence) he pays in spousal and child maintenance every month and whether it's adequate, generous, over-generous or the distinct and anxiety-producing opposite compared to the average norm? And is this boy their one and only child?
I'm ASKING all these questions because this woman potentially has a 'loaded gun', meaning, you've got to know precisely where she's coming from in order to know how to deal with her, *without* shooting yourself in the foot.
(PS KNOT2: Loved that witticism about the swap, thanks for the gaffaw!)