No contact rule?
I broke up with my girlfriend that I met back in May. We got on unbelievably great and I've never met anyone with whom I have such mutual connections and interests with and she felt the same. We argued for a week initially and then I decided to give her some space but she contacted me a week later saying that she missed me and that maybe we should meet up. I spoke to her when I now know I shouldn't have done and we just ended up arguing after that for a few weeks and all I seemed to do was push her away. I spoke to her recently and asked her to think about meeting up in a few weeks and that I would contact her nearer the time. She said ok and that is how I have decided to leave it and go down the no contact route. She knows how I feel about her but I don't know if she knows that I genuinely do and I have no real idea how she feels about me right now. Should I contact her again like I said I would in a few weeks, should I wait a bit longer and then contact her after when I said I would, or just wait and see if she contacts me?
I'm generally a fan of doing what you say you will. If that means you promise to call her, you call her. If that means you promise not to, you don't.
With that said, if you feel like you're going round and round without any clear destination, I think it's fine to call her and say, "I'm doing this like you asked me to. With that said, I personally <> so will be <>."
Which is to say, even if you don't want to talk to her, I think you should even if you don't feel like doing it. (Just keep it short and tell her so.)
I want to talk to her. I want to eventually see her to talk to her. That is why I am trying the no contact idea as I hope it will make her miss me and wnat to talk and see me again.
To be frank, if you have never met anyone with whom you have had such mutual connections, then you would know instinctively whether your GF is the true deal or not. You need to follow your gut and not so much your head, because your head is confusing you with all the indecisiveness of contacting her or not. The no contact rule isn't set in concrete and different couples find different ways to cope when their relationship hits a rough patch.
You need to determine why you argued and then decide whether it's worth your relationship. You also need to realize that while it takes two people to argue, it also takes two people to negotiate and make up... and that means it's a mutual effort to do so. If there's no mutual effort or a mutual need to make up, then your relationship, as you knew it, is basically over. While you go down the no contact road, you will never be able to reach any sort of agreement as to where your relationship stands. If you can state that you don't know if she realizes that you have genuine feelings for her, then there's only one way to find out and that's to contact her.
If you think that by having no contact will bring her back, then you could be in for a surprise because if your GF hasn't the need to talk to you or see you, then she won't. Why do your head in wondering what if she this and what if she that, when you can take the power to act on your instinct now?
I totally get what your saying. Talking to her has not faired well at all. And like you say all couples are different and I now feel that not contacting her, regardless of wondering how she feels, would be a bad move. I respect her and respect that she needs time to think and that talking so soon has been a bad move, on both our parts. She now only recognises me as arguments, even though I have tried to talk to her civilly, hopefully, given some time and space, she will miss me and maybe understand and remember me for the better times. I have decided that, regardless of my wanting, to leave her cool off and think about wanting to see me again. If I was to go with my gut instinct, I would only push her away further then I already have. If she feels enough for me, then she will contact me and if not then maybe a little bit more time after when I contact her and then she will not be so angry at me. A lot of people say move on, but I feel that you can only try and prove your love, and after time, if it still falls on deaf ears then that is you cue to move on. I've tried everything else, this is my last chance at least and then if it doesn't work then at least I know I tried and then I can rest and move on. It's tough giving someone time but if they are worth it then you have to give them that time. Thanks for any advice, I'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.