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Help me please!

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Relationship advice My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now, and the first half of our relationship was long distance. We got an apartment together and had planned on seeing how things went before deciding where to take the relationship. We reached a point where I was ready to take the next step, but for whatever reason he did not. (Marriage) we talked about it frequently, but I was never able to convince him to follow through. After almost a year of living together we learned we were going to have a baby and I am due any day now. His family (whom I've only met a handful of times) is coming to visit this weekend. My boyfriend is trying to push me into letting his mother in the delivery room while I am giving birth to our son. Is it terrible of me to be really, really uncomfortable with her being there?? Also, I feel like since we are not married that it is awkward for his mother to even want to be there in the first place. She is a very great person, but I do not know her very well, and I am a very guarded person. I didn't grow up with the same type of family support as my boyfriend and so it makes me feel very weird when I see how close he is to his mother. Any advice is so much appreciated because I'm losing my mind!!!

Help me please!

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Don't allow anyone in the delivery room who you are not comfortable with. Tell the "dad" that this is a private moment and they (relatives, etc) can come in minutes after the Dr. says it's OK for them to come in. (Tell your Dr. that you only want father and you there.)

I hope this "father" mans-up and marries you now. His mother should be encouraging this. If not, then your instincts about things being "weird" are right.


Help me please!

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Congratulations on your pregnancy. Boundaries are very important, this issue is about making your birth experience something you will be comfortable with -- if your feel you are being "pushed" then perhaps stepping back to look at the whole picture would help. Perhaps right now, simply drawing closer to each other with the birth of your child is most important to you personally. Perhaps a discussion with your boyfriend stating your desires and concerns will settle the issue. There is nothing wrong with being "guarded" or feeling "uncomfortable" sharing such an intimate moment with a person whom you are not close. Has a compromise been offered such as, perhaps she could be the first one in to see the child after you get back to your room? There are a lot of decisions you will be making... feeling safe, feeling as relaxed as possible will help during the birth... these issues should be a priority for your boyfriend as well. Set your mind at ease, stand firm.

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