Can it work out? How?
Hello, I'm a 45yr old man on my second marriage. my wife is 12yrs younger that me. We have been together for 9yrs. Married 5. We have had a lot of fun together and rarely fought. I've raised her daughter since she was 16months with no real presence of the biological dad. So we have a blended family with my two boys from my previous marriage. Then we had a child(son). My wife and I always got along well until last December I got drunk and scared her so I put myself into a rehab center but only lasted 2weeks. She was gonna move out and when I came home from treatment she came home and all was good for a few weeks with no drinking. Then I started drinking with her again and we were fine as far as no arguments. Until this past May. Currently I'm 3+ months sober and on my 12th step in AA. She put a restraining order on me back in May and moved into an apartment.
I know she loves me but and I'm honoring the order. We have talked and she hasn't said anything really about divorce. I'm lost without seeing my 4yr old son. My question I guess is she trying to see if I'm sincerely not going to drink anymore? Or is this just a ploy to give me time (6months) to prove to her. Or am I just being foolish? I mean I'm old school and we both loved each other deep....I'm just lost here....
"Then I started drinking with her again . . ."
She's a drinker? Well, no wonder she having a problem dealing with the "new" sober you!
Is this PPO preventing you from seeing your child? This is a legal issue and perhaps you can request a hearing to have monitored visitations with your son.
Three months is not a long time in recovery. What does your sponsor say? (You DO have a sponsor, huh?)
No point in me preaching to the choir here. You already know you shouldn't drink. She should respect you enough to not drink around you. That's almost like being an alcoholic and having a job as a bartender.
I'm not placing any blame on her, but it might help you to not have any alcohol around until you're strong enough to say no without giving it much thought.
You got drunk and scared her or got drunk and DID something that scared her?
Just hang in there, and give her some room. I heard once you have to love yourself before you can love others, and that means the drinking really has to stop. You can not expect her to forgive you if you slip again, the children should be everyone's concern.
This is a good time to find yourself, love yourself, and your children will not forget you.