Is it real
I am a year into this new rekationship. He asked me to marry him while he was down and unemployed and now that he is back to the norm...he wont even talk about wedding plans and seems to be treating me a little different. While most days he acts attentive to my needs he essentially is leaving me without. I asked him if all is well and if we could discuss the wedding and that was a wek ago
He said he is fine just real busy and not one word about marriage. I am thinking he isnt as serious as I am and wonder what you think.
I think he's manic-depressive like I am.
When I was manic, nobody was good enough for me. When I was depressed, I wasn't good enough for anybody, and that's when I would have been more likely to ask someone I was dating to marry me.
Maybe go to a manic-depressive web site, look at the 10 or 20 questions which show characteristics of that, and see how many you think he qualifies for.
Down, unemployed, ask you to marry him? That fits me to a tee, many years ago. Then you add, "Now that he is back to norm...he won't even talk about wedding plans." Bingo!
Is he very entertaining when he is norm? Is he very creative? Can he be very critical? Very irritable? And then in a social situation, he's back to his norm, very entertaining.
His adrenalin goes up when somebody laughs at his joke, and there's no ceiling to stop his mania. Away from people awhile, no social stimulation, and his adrenalin goes down, he's depressed, and there's no basement to stop his depression.
I take lithium, and only when I started taking it did I become "level." Before I started taking lithium, 3 nervous breakdowns, numerous anxiety attacks and depression much of the time. After I started taking lithium, no anxiety attacks, no nervous breakdowns, and with an anti-depressant, depression under control.
He'll cruise along until he's about 26 or 28, and then it will hit, and everybody will be standing around saying, what is that? "It's manic-depression." He needs to see a doctor, he needs lithium, etc. Preferably he needs lithium before he has a nervous breakdown. I didn't, and it is hellacious. And you don't know if you're going to pull out of it or not.
I don't know that for sure about your boyfriend, but that's my wild guess. You're doing the right thing. You're looking around and saying, "What is this?"