Habits habits habits grrr
I moved in with my partner. He has two adult children one of whom still lives at home when he is not at university. My problem is that the son is incredibly lazy and has some pretty revolting habits. I find it hard to confront him as he has gone running home to mommy's in the past and has stirred up a whole lot of problems. I don't want to be seen as the evil stepmother here. I have spoken to his dad about it who totally agrees with me. He has spoken to him but it has fallen on deaf ears. I can't put up with his flaky scalp picking, farting at the dinner table, constantly sitting at the computer, not clearing up after himself. He is 27 by the way. He stays here rent free when he is not at Uni,
Time for a family conference. All 3 of you,(you, husband, mother of this boy/man) to get a united front in dealing with this guy.
What is HIS plan for the future? Does he have one?
Is he special needs adult or just spoiled, indulged and rude?
Why isn't he working?
How is it that he lacks basic social skills?
A time limit should be set for him to get his own living space. Or help him get into an apt.
The main thing is that this must be a united front (of you 3) to make these changes.
Hahah This grown MAN is at university! . When he comes home for holidays this is how he is. He was like this before he started at university. Spoilt indulged and Rude yes. I sure hope he doesn't think he can come back home when he graduates. I cannot see the united front from his mother (Convenient for her that he's not living at her house). His sister who lives with the mother will not hear a bad word said about him but this is becoming a real issue. Thankfully he goes back to university next week. (After he clears his 'floordrobe' in his room) I really hope his dad can get through to him. The habits are becoming really annoying :<
Your husband will have to get assertive about where this guy will crash on holiday time when he's home from UNI.
Why no rules at your house? Put them in writing (Yes, even the "No passing gas at the table."
HE can see your standards in writing and have to agree with them.
I have two grandchildren at my house this summer. There were rules laid out before they moved in. Fortunately, they are very neat kids, polite and happy. It hasn't been easy, however.
Get you husband to be more directive with this man/child. Or tell him you are going away on holiday the next time the kid stays in your home.
"Get you husband to be more directive with this man/child. Or tell him you are going away on holiday the next time the kid stays in your home. "
It's called consequence and deterrent, Lois. This case, for sticking his head in the sand to the detriment of *your* continued welfare.