Is he cheating, or preparing to?
My bf and I have been together 7 months and I've found him hiding/lying about things but not outright cheating. When we had a big fight he messaged and called a girl from his past. I only discovered this bc the girl messaged him days later out of the blue, just saying, "a*s." When I called a girl answered I was bothered. Then I ran one of those programs where you can retreive deleted texts and calls. That's how I found out about the call and texts. He says he realized then he made a mistake and didn't meet up with her. The fact that I had to play detective is the most bothering. He only EVER admits wrongdoing when he knows he's caught redhanded. So I don't feel I can trust him at this point to be upfront and honest.
Moving forward, I still have some worries he's not being honest. This morning I ran the software again and found deleted texts from a day ago. There were several pics but the files were deleted so who knows what they were of, but he deleted him so I imagine they're not something he wanted me to see. The damning part I need your advice on is this: there was a text inviting him to a Fantasy Football party on Sunday. He replied with, "H**l yeah!! As long as there's co-eds." Then he sent another text, "Will there be co-eds?" This man is the least social person I know. He is never interested in going to parties, but yet this one he was all about due to the prospect of women being there. The fact that he asked that and deleted the texts seems like all I need to know. Anyone with any input or opinions would be helpful.
Confront him directly say "What time are WE going to this Fantasy Football party? Should I wear short shorts for the co-ed look?
Tell him 7 months is long enough to see/know who he really is, a disrespectful lying cheat! Tell him I've seen the texts/pic and the inappropriate conversations.
Remind him that he can't be trusted, and without TRUST there is no foundation on which this relationship can survive.
Be thankful you found out who he really is in only 7 months. The Red Flag is Flashing On High Beam'.
If he goes to this party, PACK your BAGS!! If he backs off and doesn't go, explain to him no more contact with this girl or any CO-ED TYPES. He must have consequences for his a*s H*ole behavior.
Also you must demand your respect in any relationship. If you allow anyone to lie, evade and mislead you, the dis-respect will only continue. You must stand up for YOURSELF.
As the Poet Maya Angelo once said "When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them the first time".
Skinnygirl has said it all, there's no relationship without trust. You need to take your thoughts further and ask yourself why you even need a BF who you can't trust regardless of his "sins" which betray everything about your relationship.
The effort that you have put in to discover what he's been up to is better spent moving on and finding someone who shares your values and standards. You can't change him or his behavior, but you can choose to be with someone who respects you totally.
Totally Agree with MANALONE.