My family is killing me
Hi everyone, I just joined today to post my problem that i've been suffering from for so long that i can't take it anymore.
My family is very old fashioned when it comes to the freedom of cloths, they keep on obliging me to wear what they want and its suffocating me.
Today my brother told me that if he ever sees me wearing anything that isn't long enough to my feet or to my hand he will throw it in the trash so I should cover my entire body. And everyone just agreed to what he said and no one defended me, even though I never wear anything above my knees and I always wear something that covers at least half of my arms !!! and I never show any cleavage or anything !! please help me I don't know what to do since I'm still 17 and it's not like I can leave the house and be independent at this age.
Because you are under age, you will have to endure your situation until you come of legal age. Turning 18 does not mean that anything will change. Until you can obtain an education that will give you the job skills to become an independent adult capable of supporting yourself.. Your issue sounds like a culture ingrained belief system which is meant to control woman who are not valued as equal to men.
If this not based on a religious/cultural beliefs, then where is this controlling behavior coming from?
How long has this been going on? Who is everyone- your father, mother, is your brother the oldest/or man of the house?
Well I lost my father when I was young so my brother is the man of the house. My mother never says her opinion on anything and just lets him do whatever he wants and that's what kills me even more !!! And I can't help but do anything he asks me to 'cause if I don't he would stop me from going to school.
Seems like you living in a toxic house. Your brother ia playing the role of the father and its your mother job to put a stop to it but she isn't.
Does you country not offer any support?
Toxic families often canibalise on themselves, your brother is insecure and is demonstrating to himself that he is in control by bullying you.
Are you in full time education?
("your brother is insecure and is demonstrating to himself that he is in control by bullying you"
Well done, TH - bang-on!)
Do what you must to obtain your education, without it you will never be in a position to control your own life.
The only reason I'm not standing up against him is that he's the only one that can support me until I finish school and then I'd be able to be free and live on my own. And it's a bit complicated since I don't wanna have any problems with him 'cause that would hurt my mom and she's the only person I have now and if anything happens to her, yall know that I'll be stuck with him.
"Wanna", "mom" and "yall know"? Sorry, which country and culture did you say you hailed from?
Since you understand your situation you have no other choice than to do what is necessary to obtain your education. Focus on the bigger picture which is your future independence.
I'm from Morocco . what does that have to do with my language ??
Context. Whether you were an ex-pat/immigrant living in, say, the US but being made to abide by your original culture's now incompatible and non-conducive rules of female conduct, etc. That context helps to more clearly define whether or how unreasonable your brother (Hitler-Hadim) is being.
Alternatively, it has to do with the fact I'm a supremely nosy ucker.