Can marriage be said after horrible things been said??
known each other for +38 years ( high school sweetheart) her 17 and me 19. Both from immigrants hers from Italy, Mine from Lebanon, lorn and lived in Venezuela. Came together for higher education, I was in LA and she was in DC. While in DC she threatened me if I do not move to DC she will leave me, and demanded to marry her, I explained her I will do that after 2 years when I graduate. When I found she was dating other, that Smashed my heart, I couldn't believe she will do that. After suffering for our rupture I started dating other girls, but never felt the love that I had with Adriana. I graduated , returned to Venezuela where I become a successful business man, then after couple of years she began calling me and expressing to me that she still loves me, but still I was heart, while she was married to the other guy, she visited me in Venezuela, where I treated her like a horse because I was still heart, from that encounter she got pregnant and then she realizes that I did not forgive her stabbing on my back, and that I was still heart, her plans to stay with me and liege her husband did not work , so she returned to the state. I had mixed feelings, because I still loved her at that time. So I decided to keep going with my life., I married got 2 kids and back in early 91 she began calling me again, with the difference, even though I still loved her, I told her we can only be friends. Years passed, I got divorced, she got widow, and in less than 1 year she came to Venezuela and finally get married. We moved to the U.S. As she has a good job at the IMF in DC, and because of the socialist regime that was goin on in Venezuela I accepted. Finally our dream came trough, that is what I thought , she become bitter and complained me why I did not married her in the beginning, she was mad at my ex- wife because I gave her every thing and made her live like a queen, did not have to work. She started picking fight with me for small stupid stuff, and she never acted like a wife of 52 years old. She started going out with friends for drinks without telling me.
She started abusing me verbally the last 4 years of our 8 years of marriage. All because I I was not making the same amount of money she earn,
Are you kidding me, told her, you are putting economic, material things as an accuse to have a fight. I was making around 55K/year while she was doing 129K.. She was always ill advised by friends forgetting what we really meant to each other. Some times when she is drunk she tells me how much she loves me, I do not know what to do... Can I have some advise... Becomes I am getting crazy
Why are you tolerating her disrespecting you? You always knew she was a demanding selfish bit*ch. You made the right decision to complete you education. From the beginning you allowed her to take control over you and the relationship.
She demands you marry her on her terms, unable to get her way she "stabs you in your back by marrying someone else. Then out of the blue she calls wanting to get back with the "Business Man" Has an affair with you, get's pregnant (she was going to get you one way or another).She becomes bitter because her life wasn't as good as your wife.
Once married she continues the demeaning, disrespectful behavior towards you BECAUSE YOU ALLOW HER TO! She treats you like this because she sees you as being weak. Now that she is earning more than you, she feels she has the right to go with friends with no communication with you, because she's wearing the PANTS in your family. Her value system is based on the money and nothing else. Since she's had no consequences for her behavior, she has no reason to change.
STEP UP AND MAN UP! Demand your respect by telling her 1) you will no longer allow her verbal abuse-NONE 2) Either we're married or were not- going out without telling you that's over. 3) Either she wants to work on the marriage or she doesn't.
You say you love her? Why because she lies/betrays/demeans/belittles/ emasculates/ is manipulative. If this is your understanding of what love is, then you got the right woman.
You're now middle age, time to take control and make the necessary changes so you can have a happier life.
Actions changes things- complaining changes nothing. So start taking some actions. Good Luck