Lets make this quick. You wanted to be a medical coder for billing so we paid for you to get your certificate. You wanted to quit your VERY MUCH stressful supervisor job during the last four months of your pregnancy and I was fine with it. You wanted to sell make-up ( hasn't sold a box) and I still love you for wanting to try. Wanted to send in your invention to get copywriting and produced. Have yet to see a return.
Married for three years and we sent you to a talent showcase to help put your entertainment career on track.
While you were pregnant and married to me I told you I cheated three times while we were dating.
You had a problem with me applying to a fire department that meant moving to my home state.
Only three months on a new job and I am asked to train for a supervisor role that will double the income I being home.
But instead of a good job, you want me to keep applying to jobs in California (already applied to over 200 positions) so we can move there and help your entertainment career. I was brought up to be a man. To provide and support for my family. I strive hard to love my wife as Christ loved the church.
Do you see my issue....?
Your wife could be a manic-depressive. I am, so I see some of the signs. Can't hold a job, doesn't want a job, wants high level jobs, invents things no one else has ever envisioned before, but those inventions don't sell,entertainment industry, etc. Can't tolerate anything anybody else wants to do, but can't leave the money-maker cause she doesn't make any money herself.
She's got you for the anchor to the ground, while she flies high in the shy. Hey, that would be me. Many jobs, but lost many jobs, wife had steady job, I had many creative projects, but none of them make any money. Making money means doing what someone else wants you to do, and they will give you money in return. But doing what someone else wants you to do is drudgery, and you can't do it. You want to be free to create, to entertain, to be up in the sky.
Of course, you never mention the depressive cycle. No sleeping late, can function, lays in bed all day, can't sleep at night. But there is something called mania without the depression, so that may be what she is. There is something called depresssion without the mania.
You can go to the search engine and type in "manic-depression." On some sites, they have a 10 or 20 question list about the subject. From what you know about her, answer the 10 or 20 questions, and see how she scores in your opinion. It might show she is manic-depressive. It might not. You can look at that.
Maybe look up "mania" in the search engine. Take the 10 or 20 questions quiz, judging on what you know about her. See if she scores high for either of those mental illnesses. I take lithium for my manic-depression, which brings dwon the mani, and helps reduce the depression. I also take an anti-depressant.
It took probably 20 or more years for them to diagnose me as a manic-depressive. If they don't diagnoses you right, they're not gong to medicate you right. If they don't medicate you right, you're not going to do better, or as well as you could. That's why it's absolutely imperative that they diagnosis you right, which is a good chance they won't. They didn't me for 20 years. Of course, I wasn't a good patient, and my wife would somehow turn me against my psychiatrists, one of whom did want to prescribe me lithium, and my wife found a way to poo-pah that, and so I didn't get that medicine.
Without the right medicine, which for me would have been lithium and an anti-dep., I was also having anxiety attacks, for a year or more. Or, do I mention 3 nervous breakdowns from not taking lithium? How could I have forgotten those? Maybe it's because I'm a senior citizen.
When I did start taking the lithium and an anti-dep., the mania and the depression stopped, as did the anxiety attacks, as did the nervous breakdowns. So, see how important the right diagnosis is? I mean, it is critical.
o, if you can find on your questioneers that you think your wife might be a m-d, or a manic, take those questions and your answers to the psy., and tell him what you think, and asks what he or she thinks. Don't take a lot of chances that they are going to get it right. They might be threatened that you came up wit the diagnoses, and change it to something else to appear to be in charge. You may be wrong about the diagnosis. I'm saying, don't go in their flatfooted and accept everything that is said. Don't discard everything that is said. Try to be ready for anything.
Finding a good psy. can be a trick. Decide if you want a man or woman psy. I have a woman psy. I found them to be more sensitive and open to discussion. I have a strong fem. side, so hey, hold that against me if you want. You may want a man psy., and she may want a woman. Take all of that into consideration.
Finding a psy. In yellow pages, book or comp., look up mental health association category, and such, call one of the groups, ask someone there, head of group, etc., for a rec. of a good psy. Look for a hospital that has women's self-halp groups, exercise, mental stuff, call that group, ask someone there for a rec.
Getting her to go to such a doctor. Might not be easy. Tell her the lithium won't slow down her creativity. It'll slow down her going around in circles so she can function and use her creativity more. I'm writing this, aren't I, and I'm on lithium. So, did it reduce my creativity? No. It made me where I can sit down long enough to try and help someone who might be like me. And that in itself is a lot of fun.
Oh, your job. Keep the job you have now where you'll can one day be making a lot more money. Don't apply to anymore jobs in California. Tell her to get her start in the area that you live in now, with play groups, art, singing classes, etc., anything she likes. If she does well, then things can be talked about. You don't have to move to Calif., to show you have acting or other such abilities.
I also told my wife when my mania was coming on from out of a depression, that I wanted to move for a more creative career choice, and she flat said no, and she was the money-maker. And not moving was the right choice. I needed to be as far away from bosses as I could get.