Why do YOU have to handle anything? That - and whether it's done kindly - is up to him, isn't it?
Well, that's hugely unjust, isn't it. How galling.
Have you not just TOLD them that you've tried advocating on his behalf to no avail? Or do you think they must KNOW it's nothing to do with you but that if they keep making you believe they however much blame YOU for it then you'll feel compelled to keep trying to win him round for them in order to prove them wrong?
That desperate scraping-the-barrel brand of emotional blackmail sounds about typical to me in this sort of scenario so if I were you I would just put my foot down with a very firm statement, along the lines of: "LOOK, you two, I'm nothing to do with why he's not talking to you - I don't even KNOW why because he refuses to explain, even to me - so I resent you persistently trying to say otherwise. Never mind just illogical, it's downright offensive when I'm the only one trying to play mediator and behaving like a grown-up around here. If I'm going to get nothing but BASHED for my conscientious concern and endeavours then I'm just going to bow out completely and let you two and he sort it out yourselves, like you SHOULD be doing'.
Unfortunately, though, it's your husband's perfect right not to have to associate with them. For all you know, there's a lot of history behind this latest situation which you weren't around for, meaning, for all you know he's RIGHT to take this stance with them. It might even be long overdue. Unfortunately again, it's also a spouses right to expect his spouse to be loyal to him.
What ISN'T his right, though, is to allow to continue the kind of set-ups and scenarios that leave you constantly caught in the middle, taking their flack. So if he's going to cold-shoulder them he should do it PROPERLY or, conversely, if he's going to communicate with them he should do THAT properly - which means not doing that childish 'tell her to pass the salt'/'tell him we said get the salt yourself!' nonsense. What does he (and they) think you are - DHL?!
It's his war. Refuse to be dragged into it whilst simultaneously refusing to be coerced away from demonstrating automatic yet regretful, "nothing personal" allegiance with him.
This thread has expired - why not create one of your own?