It takes hours to wed two individuals into marriage but it may take years to weld the two individuals into a union which is the pillar of marriage. The welding makes the individuals happily wedded couple.
Welding is the conscious effort of the two engaged individuals to submit their “self”, ego and personality in order to be welded together into one whole entity. It is a conscious EFFORT for both individuals to understand their differences and make necessary adjustments before can marriage work. You will observe I emphasized the word effort, because like welding of two metals together is not easy, so also is the welding of two matured individuals may not go easy. It takes concentrated heat to join two metals so also it takes persevering drive for two matured bodies to relate with one another considering their different upbringing.
It is not just enough for welding to take place, it is also important for the welding to finish smooth.
A smoothly welded metal produce a fine looking metal work and also a smooth individual welding will produce a fine marriage will ENDURE through time. There can be an awkward joint if the joining is not of a mutual and total submission. If the willingness of both individuals is not mutual the welding may not be smooth and will cause upheavals in the marriage journey.
Above I capitalized and emphasized ENDURE because a fine welding only makes marriage endurance easy and stress less. It doesn’t guarantee there won’t be troubles in the marriage but it does guarantees the couples strength to overcome the troubles.
“I don’t see myself getting married in the next two years” Mr Fat had told me. He was clearly not ready for marriage as he had no job and still lived in his father’s house. Though of ripe age to get married, and he just met a lady who is interested in marrying him, but they just barely met. She was the bossy type of woman and he was a gentle man. He was not ready for marriage yet but she was eager to get wedded. They always had conflicting ideas about a particular issue and take completely different stands about them.
Mr Fit sought advice on the relationship and I advised him not to rush into marriage with the ‘strange woman’. Strange in the sense she manipulated her way into his life and his nuclear family. Also, he has no candid information and knowledge about her or her character. To me, a stranger is someone I don’t know anything or much about. Secondly, she was to hell bent about marriage, an act of desperation that signaled she was under pressure and not necessarily for love or companionship.
“Mr Tayo, I am getting married in two weeks time”, Mr Fit told me. Whatever happened to the next two years plan, why the rush I asked. The candid reason given was that the bride’s family wants to have it so and have convinced the groom’s mother to support them. The wedding will be financed by the groom’s parents and all is set for the impromptu wedding. I congratulated him but I had my strong reservations. I knew they were unprepared for marriage though they may be God’s chosen for each other as they both say.
Barely seven months into the marriage, the wife voiced out in anger ‘I regret getting married to you’. The man doesn’t put on his wedding ring anymore among series of other complaints that rock the young home. Mr Fit nurses it in his mind to settle her far away abroad as soon as he is financially capable of affording it so he could live a peaceful life. This is a marriage as at the writing this memoir is not up to a year. This is a model of other marriages we have around in this 21st century.
They may be God’s choice for each other, but they were not welded together before marriage. They did not learn to relate together before marriage. The period of welding is however relative. For some it may take a longer time while others it may take a short period. It depends on the two individuals involved. That you are God’s choice for each other doesn’t mean you should not work on knowing each other better. To make a welding period short both individual must have understood the essence of working on their personality and have worked on themselves before meeting a partner of similar compose. When two refined individuals meet together in engagement, the welding period is shorter.
The ideal thing is to wed into marriage, two welded individuals but the idea of today is to wed into marriage, individuals to be welded in marriage. FOUL!!! You will hear things like “let them marry, they will grow to know and like each other in marriage” Another FOUL!!! Get informed before getting involved so you can be better reformed and not get deformed in marriage.
Can't argue with that! But, if you don't mind my asking, why are you posting it 'out on its own' like this, like some kind of sermon? Are you trying to pass on a lesson you personally have learned?
Fairenoughski. Was just checking (we get a lot of well-disguised spam on here).