Hi New Here,
We met a couple that moved in down the street about 2 years ago. I noticed some weird things. Where I live it is a huge swingers city which is a problem for me. So I noticed that the other woman would make comments to my wife about kissing , hanging out in the spa , touching etc.. I told my wife and her response is she didn't notice anything. We then had a discussion and my wife said she won't do anything until something happens. I wasn't happy with the response but of course I just dealt with it. I even said if it happens I will not ever hang out with them again. When there is a block party or any event where they are at I am in a foul mood before and after.
Ok here comes the excitement, We were out a few weeks ago with them and one of our really good friends. I guess a comment from the so called swinger about threesomes. I didn't really get involved but my wife's friend just basically said that it will never never happen and none of us will do that. I thought that was good. So my wife goes to the bathroom and I am sitting down and the "swinger" decides to make comments about my ass and decides to grab my ass and then start caressing my leg. I took her hand off and moved. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to start a war. So the next day I tell my wife and she tells me that now since it happened she will talk to her. You would think my wife would be upset about what she did to me. She showed very little emotion. I never even got an apology from my wife about her friend. So we have been fighting for over a week now and why should we. This is not my fault , what did I do?
What it seems like is my wife doesn't want to loose her friend since her best friend is moving away. I need some advice? I want to know whether I am right or wrong and how to fix this. I have no problem being wrong and if I am I owe her an apology
Your wife is not responsible for her friend's actions and therefore your wife doesn't owe you an apology for her friend's behavior. Her friend owes you one going by your reaction to her advances. It may not be your fault, but you are demanding that your wife do something about it. She has acknowledged your disgust about what happened and she has said that she would speak to her friend about it but it's her friend who needs to respect your values and standards,and your marriage,and your wife, and keep her hands off of you. It's all OK do things behind closed doors but it's not all OK when other people try and coerce others to become involved, especially when they know others opinions about it.
You need to determine why you have been fighting for a week, was it your wife's somewhat docile reaction to it after you told her when you were expecting 'war'? or, in other words, is it because you have been offended and your wife doesn't share your outrage about it? Or is it because you have voiced your values and your wife doesn't totally share your values? Go back to where you first had the discussion about it all with your wife, you'll find that the issue really started then.
Agre with MANALONE- Your wife's friend need to do the apologizing. Your wife's very passive attitude towards what happen seems very strange. Most people I know would have dealt with her the second they were made aware of what happened. Don't believe your wife didn't hear those comments about kissing/touching- she just didn't want to acknowledge just who these people really are.
Has your wife spoke to her friend yet? What did she say? She should pick up the phone and have the conversation with you in the room. Remember Swingers SWING- they are always looking for new people.
Grabbing your ass and rubbing your leg! In my circles this would have ended in a real ADULT conversation- Any no this woman would not be my friend.
Also- Could your wife reaction be because this may have been a test to see how you would react?
Her friend dealt with the threesome comment as it should have been dealt with RIGHT THEN AND THERE... Making suggestive comments is one thing but Touching is WAY OVER THE LINE.
Has your wife gone to the spa with this woman? When I go to a spa there is never any Kissing/touching never! Your eyes are now wide open..
You can beg your wife to brake contact with this friend and say
It would be for safety of your relationship. Well your wife perhaps wont like the idea.
But you did nothing wrong, you are
Confident and you did not have
Relatinship with her friend or any
Sex, or kisses. So your wife can trust you also when you are alone with woman and she should appreciate that.
Thats my oppinion.