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My boyfriend's porn addiction

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Relationship advice Hello everyone,

I am hoping to get some help from you guys, as I am at this point in my life, when I am not sure who can I address such an embarrassing matter, that keeps happening to me for the last 2 years and half. I should hope for some good piece of advice from you. Thank you!

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and half. I am 30 years of age, and he is 23 years. Although he is 7 years younger than I am, this never mattered to me, as I liked him from the moment I saw him, and it didn't take long until we moved in together. I love him dearly, more than anything in the world, but the problem is that he seems to be more interested in watching porn than having sex with me.
Ever since we moved in together, I came across certain habits of his, which involved a lot of pornography. As we share a laptop, I have accidentally discovered an email from sexual dating websites and there were more than one.I gathered that he was using them when he was single, and I deleted them for him.
I also found out, while checking his phone, that he was regularly watching porn, especially when I was not home and in the mornings when I was sleeping. I then started to associate this with his lack of sexual appetite. The minute I started to search his phone and the web activity, I found out that this was the reason for his poor sexual activity. People often say..first few months are the greatest in a relationship, but in our case it was not quite like that, as my boyfriend was more concerned of watching and masturbating on porn, than making love with me. As a result of my anxiety and frustrations, I expressed my feelings and told him that I would prefer it if he didn't watch porn, so we can enjoy a real intimate relationship. At first he was in denial, but he then said that he doesn't know himself and needs to explore his sexuality more.
Over the time I realised that his "sexual explorations" were in fact his addiction. Whenever I wasn't home, he would access the porn websites and when it came to our intimate moments he was saying that he was tired and stressed and not in the mood for sex.
Although I was addressing this as a problem, and had many arguments about it, he didn't seem to care and continued watching porn, until the moment I couldn't take it any more, and I installed a safe browser in our computer. Because this was a constant problem that was building up between us, I asked him to sell his old phone and buy a basic one, so that he won't feel tempted to use the internet for that reason.
Our relationship changed for better, since his smart phone was missing and the internet browsing was blocking pornographical content.
This was almost 2 years ago, but between then and now, he bought few smartphones, that he needed it for work, and guess what? he started to access the same dirty websites that he was accessing before.
After we went round in circles to try and find solutions for his problem, it seems that each time he comes in contact with a smart phone, he repeats the same mistakes.
Recently, I looked through the safe browser website activity and he somehow managed to find access to new porn websites. He has spent 3 hours, accessing all sorts of porn videos. I again told him about it, but he has the same denying behaviour and lies to me, like he did since the beginning of our relationship.
He knows how I feel about this, and he knows he hurts me, and he promised each time that he will change, but he never did, and as I love him so much, I simply don't know what to do about it.
I am in my third year of university and I feel that this situation is getting on hold of me, and I cannot concentrate on my studies and my final dissertation. I cannot trust him when he is home alone, as I know that he will do the same each time. I simply don't know what to do about this. I even warned him that our relationship will come to an end if he continues, but each time we talk about this, he promises he will change, but I know is just another white lie. I don't know if he will ever change and realise that he hurts my by doing that. I feel that we are in a constant conflict, and although he says how much he loves me, he can never find a way to fix his problem.
At the same time, we have been together through ups and downs and we support each other for all the other aspects of our lives. But just not this...Shall I trust this guy? Shall I leave him? He seems that he cannot compromise, although he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me..

My boyfriend's porn addiction

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Hi
You should leave him and dont think about your decision too long.
He is really "ill" when he needs pornos. You had enough acceptence for this for a time and there is no need for a porno if you really love your girlfriend. This is my opinion.
If it jad happened to me I would have made decision to leave him by first and wouldnt have made any compromises.
You find a better one.

My boyfriend's porn addiction

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Your BF has an addiction which only he can fix. While you both have tried to overcome it in various ways, he needs professional help. You, on the other hand, need to address that your relationship is not meeting your needs and that the trust is being eroded by his continued relapses. His addiction is like any other addiction; it's the people closest to addicts who suffer the most.

Your need to realize that your BF has to have the need to fix his issue and take the steps required to overcome it...by himself. It doesn't matter if he says he will change or that he wants to spend his life with you, he and he alone, has to realize that all the effort has to come from him.

You can do no more than stay and try and support him or move on, and get on with your life. It's your choice and it's a tough decision, but it's one only YOU can make. I'm sorry, but you need to realize, that if your BF has the will to face his addiction head on and do something positive about it, he'll do it whether you are with him or not.



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