I was with my boyfriend (lets call him Ben) for 10 months and it was a great relationship. We were both very different but the same in that we both liked to be right all the time and this would cause many petty arguments. We never argued for long and never went to sleep after saying harsh words to each other without apologising. We had a really enjoyable relationship and I would even go as far to say I loved/love him (i'm still not sure which one it is). Two months ago however a mutual friend of ours made a move on me and I rejected him. I decided to tell Ben straight away and he felt very betrayed by our friend, especially as we are good friends also with his girlfriend. Ben wanted to tell our friend's girlfriend because he felt it was the right thing to do but I told him not to otherwise I would be in trouble for telling, so I got him to promise not to say anything.
A few days after this happened though Ben randomly broke up with me, even though I begged him that what ever it was we could sort it out he claimed that we were 'too different' although i know that wasn't it because he had already been with me for 10 months and it was really out of the blue. I was distraught but the next day Ben rung me up and said what a mistake he had made and I told him I wouldn't get back together straight away but i'd think about it. We were a few days into this arrangement and things were getting a lot better just spending time with each other until he decided that he would tell our friends girlfriend about how he'd tried to make a move on me. I felt really betrayed and I told Ben that I wasn't interested in getting back together with him and that it was over.
Since then i've been seeking comfort in someone I met recently (we'll call him Ryan) and we get on really well, we meet up occasionally and go to the cinema as well as other things. He is a very sweet guy and we do click (we like the same things). I enjoy being around him, and we have talked casually about dating. I know that he really wants to give it a shot. When I am with him that seems to make sense and I forget about my relationship with Ben but when I am all alone (I've lost a lot of friends recently too) I miss the familiarity that was my old boyfriend. Looking through photos is the worst because me and Ben have had so many good times and we know so much about each other, it's painful.
My problem is that I can't understand what I want. Should I be moving on and giving a sweet guy like Ryan a chance, he's really been there for me the past month or two or should I try to work things out with Ben who I've shared so much time and experiences with at the risk of hurting Ryan, almost leading him on. I feel so terrible and I seem to change my mind about what I should do every day. It can't keep going on like this because it's making me ill.
Your opinions would be much appreciated.
"so much time" is not 10 months.
Good think you saw the RED FLAG in this relationship. He has shown what kind of non-supportive, immature behavior he is capable of. He would be like this (unpredictable) if you would have stayed with him.
Move on and enjoy your new relationship.
PS - Don't look at old pictures. What good does that do?