What should I do?
I had a fight with my father. He was yelling at me and I just stood there and said nothing but I was burning inside. I wanted to punch him in the face. The reason he was yelling was because of my attitude and the tone of my voice. He started yelling after I told him "What the hell do you care?" , cursing yelling how I was the son and he was the father and I need to respect him. I was prepared to beat the life out of him but I controlled myself. He thinks that it's his God give right to control me. I am 20 years old and still have to live with my parents because I don't have a job. I didn't go to collage because he's a gambler. My mom turned to church because of that, she says it will all workout but I don't think that if just we can relay on someone to take care of everything(in this case God), we need to take control of our lives. Today my mom asked me some money so she can buy something to make for us, I gave her some of the money I have been saving for a PC so I can study web development and graphics and somehow I always end up giving them some money... Because of his gambling habits like betting on soccer matches. He always made me do things I don't like for example training karate and I end up training it for 11 years and never liked it.He still wants me to train it... Another example is that he made me go to school for electrical engineers because someone told him I will have a job when I graduate and here I am with no job. I was not the perfect kid, didn't get the perfect grades but at least I didn't do drugs, steal, drank, smoke... They say if you wanted to go to collage you could have studied to get a scholarship, maybe if I knew things would turn out this way. Because of his "habits" we are always late with bills and there are days we are wandering what shall we eat, my mom tells me understand him he had a though childhood, so because of that we all have to suffer... I want to go to West Europe to live and work because I live in the Balkans and the economic situation is bad here. I would most likely go to Germany and I started to study the german language over the internet but I don't know how longer I can take living with my family, I just want to live normal and live the way I want to not to live how someone else tells me to live, is that to much too ask???
I am sorry for situation and hope things get better, I don't think you should except your fathers habits but you should understand it better. You can't change people only how you respond/react. I am not very good with advice but I think maybe you should help your mom out when you can and only with things maybe food no money that way your father can not gamble it a way. Also maybe you can have your mom have you hold bill/rent money that it can be paid on time. Hope this helps if only a little bit. God bless.
Congratulations on holding your tongue in a difficult situation. Sounds like you have built-up resentment about your father and his addiction and how that has affected your life. It also sounds like you are being put in the middle of a dysfunctional marriage - being used by both your father and mother.
You want to take off - so do that. You sound like you have the resources to make it on your own.
(PS you will ALWAYS have some kind of influence on you telling you how to live your life. Learn to listen and just say "thanks for your opinion, I'll consider that.")
I notice that you are in a tough situation and to some extent your remedy relies on your parents changing their behaviours. If instead, all of your solutions were down to you I think you would have a better outcome. Your options will always be limited for as long as you do not have a job and live at home. Therefore, your first priority is to find a stable job. Be the master of your own destiny, do not share your plans. To find a job write a letter to potential along the lines of .... I will come in early, stay late, volunteer for the jobs that nobody wants to do. If you will give me a chance on the bottom wrung of the ladder then I promise to do my utmost to repay your trust. Remember, if the remedy is a todo list that you can action then it is all down to you. If others have to change then you are in a much worse situation.