PeoplesProblems Logo

Dont know what to do

Default profile image
Money advice I am a 31 yr old female no children but in a 15yr relationship. About 3months ago I lost my job and have been looking ever since. My fiance has been very supportive but the money is low with one income and the stress is starting to show for both of us. I was told about a free medical assistant program that I might qualify for. I am very confused we need money and its hard enough the last 3months let alone another 6 with me not working since that's the duration of the training. Sorry for the rant. I guess what I want advice on is should I pursue this class or just get a job and forget this training. I have asked my fiance but he doesn't know what to say he says its up to me but I know he hates to struggle so I don't want him stressed on top of my stress. I think he would want me to just get a job and help us get out of this rut but I just don't know what to do. BTW I go to night school towards my bachelors so I'd be going to two schools and no money coming in. And do not qualify for unemployment. Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks guys for letting me vent/rant.

Dont know what to do

Default profile image
I think you should take the training class during the day. I think you should keep up with your bachelors class at night.

So does, Hellen Keller, who wrote, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

Taking a mundane job is just that, mundane. Getting your education as soon as you can is key.

Getting both of those ed. opportunities is also a “daring adventure,” as Helen Keller said. Again, taking the mundane job is not a daring adventure.

Or as a Chinese proverb says, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
The best time to finish your education was 10 years ago. The second best time is now.

Or, as John F. Kennedy said, ““If not this, what? If not us, who? If not now, when?”
In other words, if this objective is not important, what is? If we are not the best people do this project, who is?
If the present is not the best time to do this project, what time is?

-- “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” –Stephen Covey

“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.”
-- Stephen Grellet

_________________________________________

The above are some sayings I collected for someone else on this site, and I think some of them apply here.

You also seem like you’re trying to satisfy several different people at once with one decision.

Or, you sound like me before I rad the below column some 15 years ago: I was trying to satisfy my positive conscious, which wanted to achieve its goal, and to also try to solve my (unseen) negative unconscious (which I learned as a child) which was telling me I couldn’t solve the problem.

As a result, I would stand in the middle and go in circles.

But, again, the below column helped me get both my con. and uncon. going in the same direction.

__________________________________________________________________________

Here below is the column on being positive, that has helped me. Unconsciously, I was negative and didn't know it because it was in my uncon., but for some reason I had difficulty solving problems.

When I came across this col. below, on being positive going into a problem, I knew what my problem had been: con., I wanted to solve the problem, but uncon., I was neg., and until the 2 parts of my brain could work together, I wasn't going to solve a lot of problems.

This col. helped me to train my uncon. to be positive. Prior to my next problem, I said to myself, just read this col. first. The problem is your uncon. neg. So I read the col. first, and by the time I got to the 4th paragraph, I had solved the problem, by first clearing my uncon. of neg. When away from the col., and I had a problem, I would say to myself, "Think positive, think positive...." again, trying to clear the neg. from my uncon.

Here's the col. below.
___________________________________________________

by Niki Scott
June 21, 1994

“We all know people who race around in small, futile circles whenever they’re present with a problem to solve, and others who seem to be natural-born problem solvers—able to tackle obstacles, calmly, logically and effectively.

“Fortunately, being a good problem-solver is not a genetic trait. It’s a learned skill, one that can be learned at any age. If you want to improve your problem-solving skills, here are 10 steps that will help:

"The three most important things of a good problem solver are attitude, attitude, and
attitude. If you think of obstacles as anxiety-producers and unfair burdens, you almost certainly aren't an effective problem solver."

“If you view obstacles as opportunities to gather new information, stretch your imagination, learn new coping mechanisms and achieve more control over your life on the other hand, you’re probably a problem-solving whiz.”

“Be an optimist. If your general outlook is pessimistic, you’re probably not a good problem solver. Facing every puzzle with the assumption that it’s probably unsolvable practically insures that it will be.”

“Happily, changing from a pessimist to an optimistic frame of mind isn’t as difficult was it might sound. Pessimism isn’t a genetic trait, either. It’s a habit of thought we learned as children—and can unlearn as adults.”

“Keep an open mind. Most problems have not just one solution, but many—and sometimes the best ones sound far-fetched or even bizarre at first.”

“Be flexible. Force yourself to give up old, outmoded ways of thinking or acting even though they’re comfortable. Experiment with new ways of thinking and acting, and you’ll be surprised by how quickly THEY become comfortable.”

“Believe in yourself—no matter what. If you believe you’ll be able to solve a problem, your chances of solving it double. Review your past successes—frequently!”

“Take one step at a time. We all want guarantees that our imagination, diligence and hard work will pay off, but good problem-solvers are able to concentrate on the job at hand and move toward their personal and professional goals without blueprints or guarantees of success.”

“Ask for the help you need. There’s no shame in needing help—only in being too self-conscious, too self-protective, too proud or stubborn to ask for it.

“Don’t ask for help you don’t need. Those of us who were taught as children to run to an adult whenever a problem arose, or encouraged in other ways to be helpless and dependent, may find ourselves automatically seeking help now when a problem arises—whether or not we really need it.

“Resist the temptation. Asking for assistance before we’ve honestly tried to solve a problem robs us of our dignity, self-respect and self-confidence—too high a price to pay. “

“Respect the process—not just it’s outcome. Never discount a learning experience just because you didn’t get an A+ on the test.”

“Regardless of whether you’ve been completely successful at solving any problem, working on it almost certainly has gained you valuable experience and insight—good tools to bring with you the next time you have problem to solve!”

"Finally, never hold the past over you own head. Learn what you can from your mistakes, give yourself credit for trying, then wipe the slate clean, quickly, and give yourself the same sympathy, understanding and encouragement that you’d gladly give to any friend.”

Dont know what to do

Default profile image
1. will the course enable you to find employment while you carry on with your degree if it does then take the course, it is only another 6 months and then you will be on a good income to support you both again. If you dont take it because your partner is showing signs that he doesnt want you to for what ever reason you will hold it against him at some point.
how much longer have you left to do your degree?

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-0