We can make it work. I just need to find out how
So I'm bisexual. But closeted about liking guys, around 6 months ago I tried an Internet dating app and had got to talking with a guy I had a lot of in common with. He is the first guy I've ever spoken to. He is currently training in the navy which is what I'm in the process of joining also. Which got us into talking. For now I work in retail and my hours are any time of the day and any day. So very unsociable hours. As he works 9-5 every work day in the navy we only get weekends to spend time together. At first this was going fine and we was both really happy. But as it came closer to the end of his training it was inevitable that he would be deployed to some ware which means for the next few months contact would be less then what it is now. I've made clear Im not expecting any promises as long distance isn't always such a good idea. But I still want to try. He wants to finish things because of the distance. He tells me he has lived the past couple months and just right now he can't see us making it work. I've said again and again that we should steady try. But he is not sure. He also says as this is my first gay relationship he feels as if he is not learning anything and is "guiding" me how to be happy. I know this is not the case as I know him he's trying to have s reason to push me away. If distance wasn't an issue he had said we would still be as strong as ever. There is also a minor age difference which we have both made clear we don't have an issue with age as I'm 21 and he is 28. How can I try and make things work? Or atleast let him see it's worth trying to make work, do you think it would help if I came out? I've met his friends and family but he hasn't met mine. Would that change things? Please help I'm loosing my mind
Also after about 3 months he comes back to the place he currently is at now. And while I am joining the navy the actual base I do my training will be at his temporary base. I forgot to mention we have traveled across Europe to see his family and friends. It's only been 6 months but we are unbelievably close already
The only way to make a new relationship grow is to spend ACTUAL face to face contact over a span of time. This has not happened for you and your new friend.
He seems ambivalent about the future. His unpredictable schedule and your plan to join the armed forces complicate things even more.
I have no advice for you but it has to be right person, right time and the right place for love to happen. Do you have the correct "vision" of this relationship?
PS (You wonder if YOU should come out - has he? His comment about "guiding" you says he thinks he's mentoring you.)
I get what your saying 100% but on this occasion the weekends work fine. As neither of us are looking for a full time relationship. We spend the whole weekend together and speak in the phone every day as well as video calling.Yes he is out and I have traveled with him across Europe seeing friends and family. I have seen every aspect of who he is as a person. I think things may be easier if I was as open as he is. I'm clear on what my vision is and he feels the same. I think my real quieston is how to get someone who likes you to realise we've got nothing to loose and should atleast try
And yes. He feels as if he's constantly mentoring me. I get what he means as I am very easy going and would prefer to do what others want rather then myself. How do I snap out of this and show that I'm not being "guided"