You need to move on from him. Doesn't matter if your family likes him or not.
I'd suggest that you give him an ultimatum, but he's such a cad that you need to really figure out if you need him in your life. He is using BOTH of you.
He has endeared himself with your parents and family? What a rat!! I wonder what they would think if they knew all this time that he has had another woman - before you - all this time.
Please see him for what he is.
That hatred (resentment) you refer to, CUTIE13, caused by his attitude and behaviour towards you both (but you especially, considering you're the one who gets 'put on hold' every time the 'something better' crops up) is slow-acting acid, meaning, you're going off him bit-by-inexorable-bit as we speak, anyway (as well as, as mentioned, losing more and more of your confidence and self-like), meaning - trying to avoid that inevitable state of nothing but loathing for him is *futile*.
The same would apply if his bona fide girlfriend knew he was cheating on her.
Talking of which...and I hate to add to your mental workload a sense of revulsion, but...Has it occurred to you yet that you're almost, in a way, regularly having sex with this woman, just vicariously?
I have real concerns about the nature of your posts:
1. I note, over on the thread entitled "Loveless, disconnected marriage" that you responded to the female OP with only, 'If you want someone to talk to I'm here'.
This strikes as very odd because - *obviously*, she does, it goes without saying via the very act of her having created a thread in the first place. Therefore, this being an advice-providing forum, she equally-obviously wants any responses to be in the form of *advice and solutions* regarding her dilemma and the details provided. All you did was pointlessly state what didn't need saying (hence, no response from her).
2. And now, reading the above message which looks uncannily like a self-advertisement, I'm left with the disturbing impression that you could be attempting to mis-use an environment fashioned for the purposes of helping, amongst others, women in a state of high vulnerability as some kind of personal cruising ground/dating site.
Please correct me if I'm wrong?
The fact that he did not even promise leaving this lady for you says he will never leave her.
You are just something to keep him busy when he is bored. Nothing more.
Sorry hun, but you are wasting your time!
Why have you allowed yourself to enter a relationship that you can't be fully involved? Why have you allowed yourself to be with someone who is knowingly being dishonest and disrespectful? Why have you allowed yourself to commit to someone who is unable to commit to you?
I suggest asking yourself if you stay because it's "safer"? Are you afraid to be with someone who will love you and give you all you ever wanted? Possibly you fear getting
Another question to ask yourself, Do you have trust issues? Is it hard for your to trust a man?
If the answer to this is yes, then continuing in this relationship, I believe would only add to this mistrust and will do nothing but harm you in the long run.
If trust isn't an issue, do you believe this relationship is possibly damaging to your self confidence, trust & self worth?
No one is able to tell you what to do, but if you really look into your heart, I think you already know the answer. Not the answer you wish could be true, but the real answer.
In response to your line about being a "side chick"...
It's really just another way to say He's asking you to be the "not good enough to be with him 100% chick"
Are you going to give your heart and time to someone who shows you you're not good enough? saying and doing should go hand in hand.
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