I cry all the time and I don't understand why
I'm 14 years old, and I've been crying everyday for the past three weeks. A month ago I was very happy and surrounded by people who made me happy. I feel like everyone hates me and I don't know why. During band rehearsal I feel like I let everyone down and that I'm the absolute worst person in the band. I used to love band but now I just don't like it. I don' think there's anyone for me to talk to which is why I'm now on the internet asking random people I don't know for help.
It's good that you reached out for help. I'm in a situation myself. For the past several years, I've a neighbor, now neighbors, coming after me. My enemy started a rumor about me, then the new neighbors he told became my enemy, and then the new neighbors told even newer neighbors, and they became my enemy.
I just got a private detective today who has agreed to listen to my story. The last thing my newest neighbor has done is walk onto my driveway and bust the far right side of the windshield on my car. The guy who I know did it has an anger personality disorder, which helps me deal with the problem because he's a cooke.
This was 2 weeks ago, and about the same time he broke into my mailbox. One of the things that keeps me going is I try to stay positive. That's why I called a private detective. I stayed positive as in, "what can I do?"
Rather than collapse like I probably used to do much of the time, now, having read a column on being positive when going into a problem, I simply try to thibnk of something positive that I can do. Not easy for me, when things were going bad, but when I read the column on being problem when faced with aa difficulty, it helped me a great deal. Like night and day.
So, thinking positive that I could solve this problem, I thought, private detective, because he did come onto my property, he did break into my mailbox and scatter my mail, he did trespass and bust my windshield. I do have security cameras with microphones, which did pick up the breaking of the glass at night, even though there was no video at night.
(I'm staying positive about that, also, by getting motion detector spotlights, that will allow my cameras to see at night.)
I do know what his motives are, one is his anger.
By being positive, it also helps me to calm down whenever a problem does occur. Before I would think panic, and it would shut down my thinking. Then when my conscious did think of something, my unconscious would say, "That won't work because...." When in truth it would have worked. It was just my neg. uncon., which perhaps I learned as a child, attacking me.
When I read the col. on being positive when faced with a problem, that helped to clear my uncon. from causing me more problems than the original problem. And since my uncon. is hidden, I couldn't see what was going on, and I would do the same thing when the next problem occurred.
I'll try to include that col. on being positive in the next post below this one.
As for your comments, you wrote:
"I've been crying everyday for the past three weeks" and that a month ago, "I was very happy and surrounded by people who made me happy."
Did something happen a month ago? Have your harmones changed?
If you think you might be depressed, you can go to a depression website by typing in "depression" in the search engine. In one of those sites, they might have a quiz you can take to determine if you are depressed. If so they have medicine for that. I take an anti-depressant. Do you have a parent you can talk to about this, and maybe let you see a counselor?
You say, "I don' think there's anyone for me to talk to which is why I'm now on the internet asking random people I don't know for help."
It's a good thing you did reach out for help. That's why I'm on this site, for I was having problems I couldn't solve. Except I didn't think of a site like this when I was 14, so you're way ahead of me.
One of the things is you're feeling bad, but another is, how did it start so suddenly. How did all of your friendesin the band go bad in an instant? Maybe you're having a chemical change and you perceive that everyone else has changed, when really there could be something going on with yourself.
I'll try to include that col. on being positive in the post below this one.
Here below is the col. on being positive before going into a problem that I talked about in my above post.
But first, below, is a song I used to sing when I would walk past these people's house who were after me, as I mentioned in the above post. Tune can be found on net by typing in "tunes" or "melodies" on the search engine.
Below that are some sayings that I like.
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark
Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk, you'll never walk alone
“And you’ll find that you’ll recover from fate’s hardest slam, if you never say die, say damn.”
Your Present Situation is Not Your Final Destination
by Kevin Ngo
-- Falling down is how we grow. Staying down is how we die.
--If you’re going through hell, keep going – Winston Churchill
Here below is the column on being positive, that has helped me. Unconsciously, I was negative and didn't know it because it was in my uncon., but for some reason I had difficulty solving problems.
When I came across this col. below, on being positive going into a problem, I knew what my problem had been: con., I wanted to solve the problem, but uncon., I was neg., and until the 2 parts of my brain could work together, I wasn't going to solve a lot of problems.
This col. helped me to train my uncon. to be positive. Prior to my next problem, I said to myself, just read this col. first. The problem is not the problem, the problem. The problem is your uncon. neg.
So before even thing of the current problem, I told, get the col. down off the bullitan board and read it, to get the neg. out of your uncon.
I read the col. first, and by the time I got to the 4th paragraph, I had solved the problem, by first clearing my uncon. of neg. When away from the col., and I had a problem, I would say to myself, "Think positive, think positive...." again, trying to clear the neg. from my uncon.
Here's the col. below.
by Niki Scott
June 21, 1994
“We all know people who race around in small, futile circles whenever they’re present with a problem to solve, and others who seem to be natural-born problem solvers—able to tackle obstacles, calmly, logically and effectively.
“Fortunately, being a good problem-solver is not a genetic trait. It’s a learned skill, one that can be learned at any age. If you want to improve your problem-solving skills, here are 10 steps that will help:
"The three most important things of a good problem solver are attitude, attitude, and
attitude. If you think of obstacles as anxiety-producers and unfair burdens, you almost certainly aren't an effective problem solver."
“If you view obstacles as opportunities to gather new information, stretch your imagination, learn new coping mechanisms and achieve more control over your life on the other hand, you’re probably a problem-solving whiz.”
“Be an optimist. If your general outlook is pessimistic, you’re probably not a good problem solver. Facing every puzzle with the assumption that it’s probably unsolvable practically insures that it will be.”
“Happily, changing from a pessimist to an optimistic frame of mind isn’t as difficult was it might sound. Pessimism isn’t a genetic trait, either. It’s a habit of thought we learned as children—and can unlearn as adults.”
“Keep an open mind. Most problems have not just one solution, but many—and sometimes the best ones sound far-fetched or even bizarre at first.”
“Be flexible. Force yourself to give up old, outmoded ways of thinking or acting even though they’re comfortable. Experiment with new ways of thinking and acting, and you’ll be surprised by how quickly THEY become comfortable.”
“Believe in yourself—no matter what. If you believe you’ll be able to solve a problem, your chances of solving it double. Review your past successes—frequently!”
“Take one step at a time. We all want guarantees that our imagination, diligence and hard work will pay off, but good problem-solvers are able to concentrate on the job at hand and move toward their personal and professional goals without blueprints or guarantees of success.”
“Ask for the help you need. There’s no shame in needing help—only in being too self-conscious, too self-protective, too proud or stubborn to ask for it.
“Don’t ask for help you don’t need. Those of us who were taught as children to run to an adult whenever a problem arose, or encouraged in other ways to be helpless and dependent, may find ourselves automatically seeking help now when a problem arises—whether or not we really need it.
“Resist the temptation. Asking for assistance before we’ve honestly tried to solve a problem robs us of our dignity, self-respect and self-confidence—too high a price to pay. “
“Respect the process—not just it’s outcome. Never discount a learning experience just because you didn’t get an A+ on the test.”
“Regardless of whether you’ve been completely successful at solving any problem, working on it almost certainly has gained you valuable experience and insight—good tools to bring with you the next time you have problem to solve!”
'Finally, never hold the past over you own head. Learn what you can from your mistakes, give yourself credit for trying, then wipe the slate clean, quickly, and give yourself the same sympathy, understanding and encouragement that you’d gladly give to any friend.”
Your fourteen and that's a really difficult time with so many changes happening. Be aware that lots of people feel this way at this age it's a scary time. Talk about how u feel with your friend or a family member. Sounds like a bit of depression especially with all hormonal changes happening. This totally alters how you view everything it can make you feel like everything is bad. See a doctor if this continue so but talking really helps. It took me 15 years to tell anyone and I wasted a lot of time. You would be surprised how many people know what you are going through and can help you out.