Should I continue...?
Heyy everyone !
So this is my first post down here ... Pease dont mind my language... Im not a native speaker.
Anyway... So im a 16 years old girl ive always had issues in relationship specially cuz my family are extremely rich... So everyone wants to use me for that... I dont have that much of friends (i used to limit my friend zone ) also i had relationships in the past but none of them was real enough for me
Anyway this year is the first year for me in high school... It supposed to be the best year in my life... But its not
So one of my teachers (almost 40's ) had a crush on me... And he's married and he has a kid 4years old
He is always calling me out and telling me how much he loves me and so...
I was feeling so weird cuz you know im 16 and he's 40's ( but he's hot... Trust me lol) but this is not important
In the last days he's telling me that he misses me... He start to write letters for me... Then he's buying gifts for me
Last week he told me " do not tell anyone about our relationship " i had a lot of question marks in my head... I've never told him that i move him or so.... He's kind of imagining all of it
Next he started to tell some of his best students that we are in a relationship ( which is not true at all ) and that was because he want them to get jealous of him
Everyday i wish if i dont go to school i see hil everyday in the whole ways... And everytime he sees me he calls me and he start to talk on and on....
Im so lost... I dont know what to do? Should i continue talking to him normally line iam doing or should i stop him fir that? I have no idea on what to do
The girls are so much jealous of me because i am kind of his pet... He always call me in front of them and tell thel that im his favorite and he loves me....
But they dont know what i am feeling
One day he saw me with a boy talking... He cames by and he did a problem for the boy only cuz he were talking to mr
In afraid if i tell my parents they will make a huge deal of that... Maybe even they put him in jail wich i dont want too... He has a kid
And if i tell him to stop he will do anything bad for me... He can even kidnap me or shut me down...
Im afraid of all of that... I migt didn't express how i feel in a good way.... I knkw language
I hope you help me cuz i am so lost...
Thnx for listening
I am so sorry to here this is happening to you. First of all, none of this is your fault. I was once in a similar situation when i was 16. He was not a teacher but a trusted adult family member of a friend. I ended up trusting the guy. At first i was flattered. I even thought about how great it would be. I just wanted to feel loved by someone for once. I knew it was wrong but i didnt know what to do about it. I spent time with him alone and we became friends. I made it clear we were just friends. However he purchased alcohol for myself and my friends one night. I was severely intoxicated. We were all camping out and he was staying with us because he wanted to make sure we were "safe". I passed out drunk i awoke naked with him on top of me. I was young and stupid. I was scared and didnt know what to do. I blamed myself. He threatened to kill himself if i told anyone or if i stopped being friends with him. I didnt want to be responsible for ruining his life so i never told. He finally found another young girl and he left me alone. The greatest regret i have in my life is not telling anyone from the start. He raped several other girls after me. None of us ever told.
More than likely this teacher is having marital problems and is not getting the attention he wants at home from his wife combined with what people like to refer to as a "mid life crisis". He sees you as a conquest of sorts. If you are atraccted and interested in him then he is not as old and lame as he thinks he is. You have every right to feel uncomfortable. His behavior is very inappropriate. He is an adult and you are still a minor. As much as you may not want to get him into trouble you must tell someone. Maybe first try getting transfered out of his class and into another. Find a teacher at school you trust or another adult so you do not have to do this alone. Worry about yourself first. You never know what his intentions are. Whatever they are, they are probably not good for you. Go be a 16 year old girl and leave this perverted old man to find someone else to creep on. He is creepy, he may be attractive but he is basically a pedophile.......... Run!
Yup, basically a paedophile (regardless of whether it's innate or just reactive to his having turned middle-aged) - agree with MID30'S post 100%. Well, 99.99999%, anyway, because I think the first people who should be told about his behaviour are your parents.
If he gets into trouble? He should have damn well thought of that, a supposedly grown man of his age. Even if he never actually ends up trying to touch you, his whole manner and behaviour as it already stands is still a gross abuse of his position of power and trust and industry codes of conduct.
Were it me, I'd start keeping a daily log (a diary you keep at home) of everything he said and did that was aimed at me (or my school peers) and came even remotely under the term 'inappropriate', including all back-dated incidents. And keep his letter safe with it.
Getting him into the trouble he's clearly inviting -versus- protecting yourself and quite possibly many 16 year-old girls for years to come. No contest!
Please keep us posted, MAGDELENA.
Im just wondering if there's any other way to stop this... Today i was at classroom alone and he saw me from far... So he came to me and he started talking, then i felt like he's getting closer... He touched my hand, my sholder... So i pulled myself a lil bit... Luckly someone came to the classroom... So he was just pretrnding that he was telling me. That he misses me and so...
Im so so so so afraid of what's happening next... Who knows?
Im wondering guys if there anyway to stop thet? Anf if i can not involved my parents in it ?
And i tried to tell another teacher 'bout that... But it seems thay they all love him cuz he's nice with them.... Guys i really need help!
You are too young. Please tell your parents. They will talk to the teacher. They will warn him. Do not hide this from your parents. Even talk to your class teacher. Remember, this can be handled confidentially by the adults Don't wait. It will make him think that it is OK with you.
Magdalena, tell me always the reasons WHY you don't want to have to tell your parents (or why you don't want them knowing, if that's the difference in this)?
The reason why I didn't told my parents about that .... Is. That I'm afraid that they make a huge deal of that ... Everyone one will know about that .... He will go to jail ...everyone will hate me including my friends cuz they I've him so much like crazy .. And after that I have to change my school !!! Which I don't want to
I can not tell my parents about it .. And I can not tell the teachers about him .. Cuz as I said they love him so much cuz he's so nice and sympathy with them ...
So yeah ... That's it why
They I've him? You mean, like him like crazy? Well, they won't once they find out what he was truly like, underneath, as well as what had been BEHIND his surface charm - his wanting to get into his pupil's knickers at worst and wanting to stoke romantic feelings in his pupils so that he could feel like a young and sexy stud at best. Both are abuse. Both are illegal.
I know you feel like you and your contemporaries are grown-ups now, but - you'll see... Once you hit our age you'll realise with hindsight that this is like finding out a 25-year-old man has been attempting to (and very lasciviously, by the sounds of it) seduce a 3-year-old toddler. NOW feel what we feel: Utterly appalling, reprehensible, disgusting, UGH, somebody call the conveyorbelt quality control officer because this 'product' should be binned rather than let loose around children!
Why don't you call Childline and see what they have to say about it? It would be easier to have your eyes opened over the phone than here on a forum.
It *is* a huge deal, Magdalena. But who SAID you'd have to change your school? Why? What have YOU done? Nothing! You're a victim. Victims aren't made to make significant life adjustments, only the perpetrators. I don't even care if you feel you've somehow led him on, accidentally or otherwise, or even just initially for the mental fun, ego-boost and exploration of it. Legally and socially/morally, just by virtue of your age, your position, and his age and position, you're 100% innocent on all counts. Frankly, you could have waited until everyone had filed out of class to perform a pole-dance, that STILL wouldn't make you the one who was responsible and in the wrong! And that's because the grown-up is the one who's supposed to react befittingly on all adult levels, and know how to, regardless of their position in relation to you. And that's just about re-acting. This one is the actor!
Tell a female teacher, one who has kids or grandkids, preferably including a daughter. Surface niceness will cease to matter one iota in her eyes, trust me on that. Because the act itself is decidedly EVIL. PLUS, you're forgetting to remember what adults know: BEWARE CHARMERS! Virtually all abusers, including paedophiles, are charming. They have to be (think about it). It's their deliberate attempt to forward-protect themselves. Doesn't work these days, though - people are too clued-up now regarding all such ploys.
What say you now?
Oh, and - here, read this: http://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/7716/Should-I-Forgive-Him
I want to know if what I've educated you over, above, has made any difference to your attitude and overall confidence. If not, I've got a humdinger of a convincer AND giant life-improver (yours) up my sleeve. But first thing's first...