Should I let go?
Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months now, but lately he's been acting odd. He recently went away as we are both taking a gap year ( we are both 18) and he went to Europe for a couple of months, he came back a couple of weeks ago, and we still haven't mananged to make time to see each other, and he doesn't bring it up, it's always me asking him if we should get together and do something, but whenever I ask, he always puts it off saying he's to busy working, or applying for universitys, but then I see him out and about with his friends, I try to talk to him about it, but everytime I do he never answers me, he doesn't even call anymore, I don't know what to do in this situation, I don't want to lose him, but then again is it worth holding on to this relationship if this is what he is going to do? Somebody please give me some advice.
He is wasting your time. It appears that he has moved on but is too immature to finish with you like an adult. Your 18- don't waste another minute on him. Go and enjoy yourself with your friends and hopefully your next boyfriend will be an adult and treat you well. You deserve better so don't settle for less
PUPPYLOVEER, you know as well as I or anyone, that if you've been separated from the one you love you can't WAIT to rush round to see them! And busy is as busy *does* (or, his case, doesn't - ref having time for everyone but you). So actions speak. Boomingly. In other words, you CAN'T 'lose him' because, as is obvious to both Jenna and myself, you already have.
Sadly, he's been hinting away, with you refusing refusing to take them. Not that he SHOULD be hinting. He should be sitting you down to gently and with-regret explain why the drastic change in attitude to the extent of his no longer wanting to be yours or anyone's boyfriend (and it sounds like the latter from what you describe). Given the timing, I'd say this trip has done what such broadenings of horizons tend to - changed his outlook and priorities, including what and who he wants (and in what order). So either he's being a coward in not wanting to see your look of upset and/or hasn't a clue how to put his explanation so is choosing cowardice. That makes him too young and too under-skilled for the adult privilege that is a romantic relationship.
It hurts in the short-term but, look on the bright side: Imagine if he'd never gone on this trip, and you and he had continued for years growing attached, getting in deeper, ending up married. Being locked-into a life with someone thanks to being in-love with them should be FUN, SECURE and COMFORTING, etc., etc. How much fun do you think you could have, the rest of your life, if involved with someone who doesn't have the courage, even at eighteen, to face up to his onuses, no matter how "awks" for him, not to mention, onuses he willingly created himself? What kind of life would you have had in store? Something like this (you a stay-at-home with babies round your ankles): "Oh, by the way, love, I walked out of my job today. No, I haven't got another one already and no I can't give you a Tenner for nappies and forumula." WTF?
Don't get me wrong - I'm not for a minute suggesting he'd have ended up the man you married, considering you're too young right now. But you're supposed to be limbering-up for that eventually, in the process learning what qualities mean most to you in a man (and which you find anathema). Why practise the Triple Jump if the major tournament you're aiming to eventually enter is the Javelin?
So there's nothing TO do, other than chalk it up to experience and what things are like with someone who's too immature for you and/or once you get to see the person's true colours. So now you need to 'watch the tapes' and see if you can in hindsight link up this overtly irresponsible and ungentlemanly conduct with any at-the-time seemingly innocuous clues that occurred in the first few months (his being only 18 being the first). That way, if you spot those iceberg tips again, with nothing to trump or cancel them out, you'll know to steer well clear from that type.
Girls at your age ARE more mature than their male counterparts - by miles! Maybe your next should be a good 2-3 years older than you? Don't be surprised, however, if the differences in maturity are far more subtle than you'd anticipated (LOL).
I would suggest to leave him.
But if u believe in prayers then sir Isaac can help u . u can mail ur problem to [e-mail address removed]
By his prayers ur problem will b solved
Thankyou guys, I needed to hear the truth, I know now I have to move on, thanks for your advice
On b/h of everyone, you're welcome.
And try not to pay any attention, meantime, to the horrid emotions. They're just emotions, primitive ones at that, meant to spur and incentivise you into taking whatever action would make them stop. That's all well and good, normally, but the trouble is, they can't comprehend the concept of "right animal/genes (for producing an A1 baby), WRONG CONSCIOUS HOST (a*sehole)". So in this case they stubbornly persist (nag on at you).
But just grit your teeth, safe in the knowledge that consistent non-action-taking of yours eventually "sends" those processors the message that the "remedy" (him) must no longer exist within the environment, whence they get slowly-but-surely, then incrementally, turned off and/or spur you into seeking alternative potential remedies (like fun times with friends).