On again off again what about the kids?
My boyfriend and I have been together on again off again for 9 YEARS!!! we have two kids together.
This last time we got back together we swore this was it n no matter wat we were going to fix it. But once again its the same crap except this time he won't work or help me around the house, he has become so lazy its sick. N yes we have talked about it n he's said he would try but still hasn't.
Long story short I know this is horrible for my kids n they r wat matter.
So how do I end this and actually stay away? I want to move but its not fair to my kids. We live in a small town n he always seems to know every move I make even though I don't associate with anyone he knows. I'm tired of being sucked back into something I'm so miserable in. I know I only take him back because its comfortable to me. Also how do I date with such young kids? (3 and 6)
How long is it if you deduct the 'off' periods?
And who told him (was it him?) it's acceptable for a married (yes he is) man and father to two kids to keep abandoning them so repeatedly (or even the once), just because the pair of you are at loggerheads?
Did you beg him back these last few times, is THAT why he thinks he can get away with doing even less of his share (including excluding his no. 1 role of Hunter-Provider)?
Forget his words, they clearly mean nothing. His actions are the ones doing the REAL talking. So let's re-write that: He believes he can get away with being a complete parasite (you the host). He Jane, you Tarzan.
Yes, they're what matter. And they're sponging this up - daily - and from it, building a standard mental model in their little heads about how to behave/how you can behave if you want (male) AND expect to be treated (female) once you marry (or even before then). So how do you think their relationships are going to fare once they start working their dating way towards eventual marriage? D-I-V-O-R-C-E, that's how. But they won't see that coming, let alone expect it. Why? Because that's not what mummy's doing, despite all apparent reason to. Daddy doesn't even get put on the Naughty Step.
What do you mean, how? And what do you mean, not fair to your kids? And what difference does it make WHAT moves you're making or with whom if he, by his consistent and sustained actions, is constantly 'saying', 'I'M OUT! (but staying put out of convenience)'.
Define 'sucked back in'. Sucked, HOW?
Dating tips later (but know that your fears are unwitting, self-obstructive ollocks). Got to get yourself SINGLE first. One step at a time- AND WHADDAYAKNOW! - that, missus, is precisely how you get sucked back in every time.
One step and stick rigidly to it. See the benefits, be encouraged. Second step and stick rigidly to it.... It's no more difficult than a diet, wherein, once you start to SEE the weight dropping off, the buzz and amazing benefits of getting to feel more attractive, sexier, more free in terms of choice of clothing, less mentally loaded from guilt, etc., etc., etc., OUTWEIGHS any benefits from allowing yourself to regularly stuff your face.
Ever been on a weight-loss diet before?