Confused mom & wife
So here we go....I've been wiith my husband for about 20 yrs...married for 12 of the 20 yrs. . He is a good man- great provider- has some flaws as we all do- the bedroom could be better. Anyhow before we got married he was so worried that I would change because that's what al his friend said about their wives. Other than putting on some pounds and by no means am I severely overweight but that is my downfall..anyways he is 11 yrs older than me and not sure if him being 50 has somethin to do with it but I feel like I have to beg for sex most of the time.....the intamcy is gone 75% of the time....kissing is nothing more than a peck when I try to kiss him intametely he pulls away most of the time then uses the excuse of our kids. When we are alone in bedroom I feel such awkwardness in trying to kiss...if I get lucky that night its generally me providing oral and then sex lasts all of 5 to 10 min
. I miss the passion and being swept off my feet. Sigh. Problem 2. My youngest is extremely attached to me. Allows me no time 4 myself let alone time alone with my spouse. I love my children dearly but feel like I have no escape from being a mom. My husband used to make me feel special and sexy which mad up for the time spent on being a mom. That is all I feel like now a mom and a maid. It also doesn't help that I lost my job a few years ago and $$ is tight now. Although I am working its depressing because I have to rely on my husband for support and I have always been self sufficient. My husband says he just looks at the adds because they are funny and perhaps I'm just dumb....but he looks at the craigslist personals all the time. This is one thing that haunts my mind so maybe this is why I feel awkward? He is home all the time I see him daily during wk hours so I don't know when he could possibly have time to call one of these girls but I also suppose if there is a will there is a way? I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel trapped and alone? Any suggestions?
Ask your husband what he wants and why he is distant. Ask him if he feels like you have changed and if there is something missing that he would like to have back. You are not satisfied, and he is not satisfied. Is there someway you could spend alone time together without the kids (spend a day out of the week doing something special while leaving the kids with a babysitter or family member)? Is there a way for your kids/husband to help you with what needs to be done around the house? I donâ€™t know the family schedule or the age of your kids, but you could establish a way for them to help around the house. For instance, you both could establish a rule that the kids take turns washing dishes, or you may refuse to do something and have the kids take responsibility for it instead. You could reward the kids if they help you out with certain things. I donâ€™t know how young your youngest is, but if you need time with your husband, you need to establish a routine where time is available for that, no matter how attached the child is. What I am saying may not seem possible, but you and your husband need to find a way to make what is going on less stressful. Instead of looking at craigslist personals, your husband should work on what he has and do something to help resolve the problems that you are both having, so talk with him and see what both of you can do to make the marriage better. TILES
There seems something in his mind, which he is not feeling comfortable to talk to you. Bring some changes, talk to him what you have never talked, make him comfortable so he share his idea.