Guessing I need confirmation
Hey everyone. I'm new here and I guess I just need to talk through my stupidity. I've been seeing a guy for almost 4 years now. I feel like I'm just wasting my time at this point, but I can't seem to let him go. During our time together, we saw each other all the time in the beginning, then for almost a whole year he was focusing on his new business, or so he said, and we saw each other maybe 6 times. In reality, he was with someone else, which I didn't find out until months later. Because of my love for this guy, I gave him another chance. Everything has been great, until recently... Again almost 4 years together and he refuses to spend holidays with me, we rarely see each other, and I haven't even met the parents. I'm a very loving, caring person and when I'm with someone, I don't need to see him all the time, but not seeing him for 3 weeks when we live 20 miles apart? I would do anything for this guy, and I can truly see us together for the long run. He makes me feel amazing, alive, happy, beautiful, etc when we're together. I just feel like at this point (even though he says he loves me blah blah blah) that I am not the one he wants. :/ thanks for letting me cent and get this out. Ugh! I'm so frustrated!
He makes you feel amazing,happy,alive etc but you're frustrated by his inability to be 100% committed to you. It never ceases to amaze of how one person can have so much power over another. You need to realize that you will be waiting forever for this guy to do the right thing by you. You have a choice as to how you want to live your life and who you need in your life as a long term partner but going by your post, it's never going to be this guy.
If he needed you as much as you need him, he would never leave your side because when a man truly loves a woman with all his heart, he can't bear to be apart from her.
Dump him. Sorry to put it out there like that, but he is not worthy of you. You absolutely deserve to be with someone who would do anything to be with you, who loves you more than anything and puts you first. It's going to be hard, but he will never be the man you need him to be. I ended a 9 year relationship because of this, and it's the hardest thing I have ever done. But I'm glad I did it, because he was not the man I was to spend the rest of my life with. After ending that relationship, I met my husband about a year after and we have been married for 18 years and have 3 kids. Don't settle for less than you KNOW you deserve.
I am so sorry to say this, but you really need to move on. I have never heard of anyone dating somebody for four years and never meeting their parents. That is a huge red flag. The fact that you said when you see him he makes you feel, "amazing, alive, happy and beautiful" then do you only want to feel those things four or five times a year. I am betting not. You should be feeling those things all the time, and he should be wanting you to feel those things all the time. Please, get the courage to say goodbye. You deserve better!!
Thanks everyone! Not that I didn't already know what I need to do, I think I just needed to the support from others to do it. He will be missed greatly, but I've gotta do what will make me happy in the long run. :,( here's hoping Mr. Right is actually out there! Thank you again!!!<3
" he refuses to spend holidays with me, we rarely see each other, and I haven't even met the parents"
Red flags!! He's probably married.