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Helppppp

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Relationship advice Hello. I was diagnosed with cancer last xmas and i had a boyfriend but he broke up with me because he w?as loosing interest
.all the people i told what he done told me that hes not worth it then? The reason why he broke up with me is because i never came out but how could i ? He always said hes losing interest which is horrible to say to someone who is fighting for their life. Anyways, he said sorry and realised just september gone he asked me to get back with him two weeks ago. I said yes but i regret it,hes starting again with his losing interest thing and i feel pressured

Helppppp

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So sorry to hear you have/had cancer (and apologies for that spam which will be removed anon).

If he broke up with you, knowing you had cancer, citing loss of interest, then his having regained it could indeed suggest it'd been an excuse for 'this relationship is suddenly too much like hard work and not enough fun any more'. But it depends: has this second phase 'loss of interest' coincided with your having suffered a relapse?

If not, if you're in remission, then obviously something else has to be behind it.

Questions:

1. What type of cancer was it? And were you *literally* fighting for your life or was it a case of a normally or potentially terminal strain that luckily got diagnosed and treated early enough to give you an excellent chance at recovery?

2. This 'and I feel pressured' remark at the end there. Is that part of his statement, as in, 'I'm losing interest and I feel pressured'? Or was that you saying his starting up again is making YOU feel pressured?

3. How long has it been in total since you and he originally met and became lovers?

4. How many months or years along into your relationship was last Xmas/the diagnosis?

5. Was he present at the meeting with the oncologist wherein you received your diagnosis and treatment plan? If not, how long after you announced the bad news did he 'end' the relationship? And had you and he been alone when you told him or did you do it in one hit with your family present?

6. If he 'realised' just Sept gone that he shouldn't have ended it, how come he took as long until 2 weeks ago (nearly two months on) to say so?

7. What specifically did he say it was that he'd 'realised'?

8. Define 'he's starting again'. Is that behavioural signs or verbal statements (or both together)?

9. Had you just had a run of arguments when he 'started again' or had anything else negative just occurred in either yours or his own life?

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

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