Why does everybody dislike me?
So I'm a guy in college and lately I've been experiencing some problems with people (other guys) in general. I joined a fraternity last year, I didn't like the house too much at the time but I was also out of options; I mostly joined to help me get more out of college, be able to go to parties, get experience talking to girls, social skills, etc. I think I got a lot out of it, I became more confident and comfortable in social situations (I was a pretty quiet and nerdy guy in HS) and I was surprised that people and strangers in general started to really like me. But also, I noticed that a handful of people actually started to hate me - before this I was used to not getting nearly as strong feedback from people. So that's also what started happening a few months after I "initiated". I was really liked and respected by most of the guys but soon I started getting more and more negative vibes towards me. I'm living in the house now and it's really started to wear on me. I would be okay if a few people, maybe even a lot of people, disliked me and I could just ignore it and avoid them, but I'm surrounded by and see these guys every day.
I've been focused on improving myself since I got to college so obviously this bothers me, I don't understand why it's happening. I feel like I'm a nice guy. I'm still pretty quiet but I have a sense of humor, people say I'm cool and non-chalant - sometimes too non-chalant - but I definitely still have social anxiety and avoid social situations sometimes. I'm pretty lazy usually but this semester I've been working hard non-stop in school - I'm in engineering at a really good school and I'm taking a schedule that I've realized a lot of people think is crazy but I'm still doing well (and better than the other handful of guys in my major). Physically I'm tall, muscular build, and good looking - I don't think I'm a narcissist, people tell me these things and no one has mentioned that I'm arrogant, and I have to be in a terrible mood to come off as an asshole. I think in this post I'm writing a little more formally than I am, I'm pretty goofy and like trolling as much as the next guy.
This summer my dad out of nowhere came to me and told me that I need to be careful of envious people. I was surprised and didn't really know why he was saying that at the time, but now I'm guessing that is what's going on here. I've gotten a few weird comments from the guys like 'I wish I was you' (twice), 'How many chicks you banged tonight?', and basically that coupled with what my dad said is making me think that people aren't just disliking me because there's something wrong with me. But in my head it's like I'm constantly alternating between thinking that there's something wrong with me and that people are just jealous. To be honest I don't exactly know what jealousy feels like and that's why I'm doubting myself/telling myself that I'm delusional. And it's not like I think about this all the time, but when I do I realize that I'm pretty lonely and it's depressing. I don't really have a single friend (well maybe one that I met recently), and I've never been able to keep a friend my entire life. I've gone through the whole spectrum of theories, from having aspergers to being smelly, and I've never really figured it out...
I can give more details if it would help, I think I just really need advice on what to believe when it comes to myself/people/relationships in general and I would really appreciate it if you can give me your opinion.
This sounds very complicated but it also seems like you are constantly trying to seek acceptance from others to define who you are. I do think being apart of clubs is a good thing to meet ppl and to be apart of something but maybe this fraternity isnt so healthy for u. Maybe get involved with something else where the ppl aren't so negative. Focus on you and colledge and not so much about what others think of you. The only thing that matters is what u think of you. Your spending to much time trying to identify what's wrong with u instead of what's good about you.social anxiety is normal ive struggled with it my whole life and I have to push myself alot to get past it. Even if I feel uncomfortable I still push myself to do it. Try becoming apart of something that is more positive instead of being apart of something that is always involved in negative things like partying and how many girls you've banged. It all sounds negative. I don't think anything's wrong with u so try not being so hard on yourself and be kind to yourself. Just be you and try getting involved in something else.
Do you have at least one good friend? Maybe you are trying to have "mass" approval. Just be close to a few people in real quality relationship.