Feeling so alone. What happened to my husband?
I've been wiyh my husband for 5 years and in the beginning we laid it all out on the table. Our pasts, our mistakes, all the stuff that other people could use to sabotage the relationship. Well problem is my husband that used to treat me like a princess treats me like a dirty dish rag. He has been in a custody battle since we met. He hasn't seen his 3 kids in 4 years now. His parents have visitation though. Well this has my husband wore down to the bone. Our parents don't get along because they grew up together and know each other's pasts and secrets I guess. My son didn't like my husband so he ran away and went to live with my mom. I haven't spoken to him for 4 years. Not for lack of tring on my part. My mom badmouths my husband to him and he thinks I chose a man over him. He was 15 at the time and he was spoiled. My fault I admit. But now my husband is so depressed. He explodes on his parents about issues with his kids. He yells at me for being depressed and dragging him down. He doesn't respect my feelings anymore. I have allowed him to think it's ok to treat me like this. I have left when we fought and he would tell me to get out. But next day he would be sober and call and ask me to come back and I did both times. I just want him to treat me with some respect and not take his problems out on me. Neither one of us have any friends. So, I have no one to talk to. My parents don't talk to me. I can't talk to his mom of course so I just feel alone and so unloved and betrayed. We fought tonight he grabbed his wallet and walked out the door because he's fighting with his mom and dad not technically with me because I didn't do anything except listen to him and share my thoughts about issues between him and his parents. Trying to support him. Well he told me to keep my mouth shut! How do I win here? I have no one and I'm so sick of being so depressed not even wanting to leave the house. How long does this have to go on before things get better? Alone and no one to blow off to. That's why I'm here! Any thoughts? Anybody?
Well this sounds very stressful for you both. It sounds like he's really dealing with some hurt but doesn't know how to deal with that pain in A healthy way. Why can't you both get ur kids back?? Is that a possibility?? Because it sounds like that is where some of the pain is stemming from. It must be hard for u to not know what to do to help him because when u offer advice u get told to shut up. Have u ever sat down and expressed to him that u miss how he use to treat u? Because I know whenever my relationship has changed or I feel unloved I always sit down and tell my husband how I am feeling and almost always he'll put in an effort to trying to change it. I don't feel like he should be disrespecting u tho and treating u like garbage and telling u to shut up when ur just trying to be a loving and caring wife. I would express how that makes u feel and that ur not going to tolerate that kind of abuse because it really is emotional abuse. I think u need to demand respect. Have you all ever thought about going to see a therapist all together? You and him and the parents? Because that could help. I do hope things get better. Let me know how things are going. I hope some of this could be of some help.