Wronged a family member, not sure what to do
Long story, seeking advice on how I should feel, what to do ect.
Okay, 5 years ago when I was 14, I visited my sister and her husband. I was there for about 2 weeks and while I was there her husband started texting me talking casually about something, then started telling me that he liked me if I am remembering correctly. I don't know why I did this because I love my sister, she was my bestfriend; but I didn't shoo him off I accepted it and continued to talk to him. I don't understand why I did this, it went on for about a week after I left then my sister found out and it was awful. I was heartbroken that I hurt my sister and I was confused. I don't know if there is something wrong with me because I did this? I don't have any feelings for her husband, I just enjoyed the attention I think. I feel like there is something wrong with me, but I was only 14 and he was at least 24. I don't want to blame anyone but myself for allowing this awful thing to happen, but I can't stop feeling awful about it. Me and my sister eventually starting talking again after that and it was okay for a while, but then he visited back home to see family and me and my other sister were visiting with him, so I think my sister has the idea that something happened.
bottom line, I need advice. thank you.
I expect the flattery and seemingly being treated and talked to like a grown woman went to your head, yes?
How old is your sister - is she the same age as him?
1. 24-year-old 'woos' 14-year-old. You're right in that you were a minor and he, social status-wise, the adult, whom by law takes full responsibility. You can't be responsible for that level of adult decision-making and action-taking at 14 - either intellectually, emotionally or morally - because any decision you make is obviously going to be a child's one, based on child's reasoning, meaning your pretend adult actions don't/can't wash. Get it?
2. Not only is he automatically to blame due to that lead technicality, but - hee was the one contacted you, encouraged you, etc. And out of the Blue. Basically, what he did counts as the first few steps on the paedophilia path. It's called, Priming.
It was no doubt easier for your sister at that earlier juncture to try to IGNORE that fact coming to light and the horrid impact on her (traumatic to say the least) in terms of what it means on all levels. For example, if he has paedophiliac tendencies, how does that bode in terms of your sister daring to fall pregnant and 'bring' children into their midst (and their children eventually inviting other children home for tea, etc.)?
What do you mean he visited his hometown/family and you and your other sister visited with him? Visited with him where? On who's invitation?
(sorry - 'whose' invitation) ("ach!" to self)
Well I feel like u weren't In the wrong at all. I have a daughter that's 14 and as a 14 year old they are very nieve and vulnerable and just beginning to figure out who they are. I think ur sisters husband is a predator and should be ashamed of himself. If I had been ur sister I would have left him. What a piece of shit! I think this angers me because my daughter is 14. Don't blame yourself doll u did nothing wrong. Yes u messaged back but he was an adult and should have known better. He's got problems not you.