Problem in marital life
I got married 4 years back with a person who is an engineer.His family background was very good in terms of culture,education and financial support but he was very thin.After two months of my marriage,I came to know that he is suffering from health problems of liver disorder and protein secretion due to which he is very thin.Inspite of asking several times,this secret was not disclosed before my marriage.But now I am really worried about his health as he is also taking insulin due to increase in sugar level.He doesn't have interest in sexual relations at all and he has been delaying the decision of giving birth to a child for no specific reason for a long time.I feel that I have been cheated but I can't leave him too. He is very short tempered and find faults in me for small reasons.Although he has weaknesses,I admire his positive attitude and strong will power which makes him workoholic and ambitious in life.Please tell me what to do.
Potential partners should openly tell each other about their health issues and should not hide which will give each other to decide if that health issue is OK or they should stop getting involved in each other.
I agree also that these problems should have been disclosed to you before marriage because that basically is the same as lieing to someone. Maybe he didn't want to say anything because he thought u wouldn't want to be with him but even so he should have let u have a choice instead of trapping u like that. Idk if u love this man then love him unconditionally and just be there to help him through this hard time in his life. But as for him treating u badly by being short tempered say some thing and let him know that you won't tolerate being talked to like that. Set a boundaries. I am a true believer that we teach ppl how it is they are to treat us. If u say nothing he'll just continue to think it's OK to do it. Maybe he's a little short tempered because he's scared or just under a lot of stress. Idk like I said just try ur best to be a loving wife and love him through it.
I would make sure that your life insurance are in order, are you the sole beneficiary on all financial accounts including your home? Do you guys have a will? If not get one.
If one of your vows was "in sickness and health" this would be the sickness. Have you gone with him to his doctors visits? If not you should so you have a complete understanding of his health issues. I would seek some therapy to address the lack of a sexual relationship in your marriage. If he had told you about his health missus do you think you would have married him anyway? Or do you feel resentment for not having the choice to decide if this was the marriage you wanted?
In addition of the details mentioned earlier,I want to state that my husband doesn't like to share his health issues with me and he has never taken me to the doctor for his health check up for the past 4 years.He doesn't accept his weaknesses and is not ready to get the treatment done for lack of interest in sexual relations.He doesn't share his problems with me.Although I have made him realised his mistake of not disclosing about his health before marriage,he doesn't accept his fault and starts blaming me.He says that I should first improve myself and shouts at me on small mistakes.I even doubt his incapability to give birth to a child due to health issues but that too he never accepts.He doesn't know driving a two wheeler also which he didn't disclose before his marriage.I feel very anxious because in spite of accepting his weaknesses,he doesn't respect me.I feel that he should have disclosed his health issues before marriage so that I could have decided about my future.Although he likes me but doesn't understand me.Please tell me whether I should continue this marriage or take a divorce.