After being so close friend and receiving all my support, money, time, favors, she declined to accept me as her boy friend, but did not dump me either as she found me very useful. One evening I warned her that since I have been with her for 8 years and taking care of her, I needed her in bed also, otherwise I was breaking away.Since she was almost loosing me, she allowed me to kiss her etc. But she told me that she cant convert me from friend to BF. She is now leaving for one year to Russia. She told me that she never romanced with me, and that she had cleared that from the beginning. Now what do I do? Shall I have to forget about her? She is asking me to come to Russia after 4-5 months, but asking me to stay in a hotel. Is she using me? I am confused. Advice. She is trying to maintain a very formal relationship via wassapp with me. She maintains that she always loves me but the way she shows love to me is different from that of mine.
8 years is a long time to be a "friend with NO Benefits" She has told you that she does not have romantic feelings for you. She DECLINED to accept you as her boyfriend, that "she will NEVER romance with you" how many ways does she need to tell you? "She just not that into you" in a romantic/intimate way-ACCEPT IT!!Whatever ways she uses you is the price you're willing to pay to have her in your life.
By continuing to give her -support,money,time,favors in hopes her feelings will changing is keeping you in a complete denial/acceptance of your reality. . Now is the time for you to move on. When one door closes another will open.
You won't find your love/soulmate/girlfriend or wife by investing in a person who has been up front with you. So no I don't think she's using you. Decline the offer to visit her in Russia. Take this year to find what you deserve and need in a true committed,mutually giving and loving relationship.
Thank you so much. Do I need to completely stop any communications with her?
Wow, this very naive and worldly unwise (and apparently mentally impaired) woman must confuse the *hell* out of waiters!.....
Waiter: How was your meal, Madam?
*Greta [as in Garbo, as in 'I vant to be a loan' ;-p]: Terrible! So badly cooked, in fact, that I could eat any of it and want it taken off the bill!
Waiter: Er,...but Madam's plate is empty!
Greta: No, it's not.
Waiter: Er,...yes, it is, Madam - LOOK!
*Greta: No, it's not, you must be imagining things.
(Is she a Labour politician by any chance? :-p)
'Stay in a hotel'. PAY in a hotel, more like! So how's about one final communication....called an Invoice? There again, maybe you could call it quits, considering she (or the fact of her, anyway) did teach you a priceless lesson: how not to try to confuse, avoid and substitute currencies and instead get with the culture of LoveVille, which is: You buy love using love and sell love for love (and never snog friends...nor especially "etcetera" them or let them "etcetera" you).
It's a wallet, not a bullet-proof pad. ;-)
(Was any of that *really* news to you?)
Y dun u propose her directly y only sharing bed if u love her btw i think she takes u as a friend only.so have a last long conversation direct with her and then call quits if there s no other option.and be patient and calm in leaving each odr.
My Error- I meant to say Of Course she's using you!!!! With your permission.
As per my view “RAM731” she loving you but the same time she searching in new things …but she defiantly know that you will wait for her until she like.. so my best advice stop loving her but search for new that one who really loves your feelings and respectfully otherwise in her life you only be a option ..truth when you started life with new one by that jealous she defiantly comeback and may break up your new love and continue with her….so it’s up to you how to love with your new love