Am I depressed?
I am 21 years old. Junior in college, full time job, have a nice family, a happy dog, and some really good friends. Lately many things have happened in which I have made choices that ended in me disappointing myself. I feel a lot of guilt inside of me, for small things often, i feel that if i hurt someones feelings mine hurt a million times more. My question is am I depressed? I am worried I never really get sad, and if i do, it goes away after a few hours. For the past few months once I'm in my room i can't stop thinking, for the past 3 days every second i am alone i cry, for sometimes no reason, i just feel like in chocking all the time, I'm not myself, like a black heavy shadow is laying right over me and won't let me breath, but when I'm around other people I'm fine. I also feel weak a lot, i used to go to the gym and carry a healthy diet, now i don't know if i just don't care or i don't have the time for it. My eyes have watered over ten times writing this and i don't understand why, is just a feeling where i can't breath, should i seek for help?
PS: also i believe this is very important. i have been non stop drinking for about two weeks now, with friends, at home, with my family, and i find that it is the most comforting way to stop the pain, also sleep. Is this normal in people my age?
I'm facing a similar problem, except mine stemmed from a rough childhood I keep bottled inside. First of all, you should feel proud that you took the time to convey your problems, that takes courage. Also, any feeling of depression that lingers in your mind can be serious, so if you're wondering: no, you're not wasting anyone's time
I would talk to your doctor about this, as these are in fact signs of moderate depression. I'm sure everyone here will try their best to help you and give you sound advice.
A drink once in awhile isn't bad, but drinking to help cope with emotional pain is certainly NOT recommended. Speaking from past experience, especially alone.
As for me (I don't feel that this is necessary, but since you wrote a bit about yourself, I'll write a bit about myself too.), I'm 25 years old and am part time for now. I have a cat and am battling depression and anxiety.
Did I miss anything? Remember, everyone has a battle to win and a reason to fight. You're never alone.
Stop drinking u r playing wd ur life.
It seems u r fighting loneliness.
any drug that takes you to a high will take you to a down and if you're drinking to relieve yourself from an already existing down - the down after the high will be even more obvious : so don't take that route - it will make you downright completely depressed without resolving anything (and addicted) - it feels to me you might suffer from a guilt problem that is eating away at you : guilt which is not healthily expressed, talked over and cleared will tend to turn itself onto the emitter of guilt resulting in feelings of having dissapointed oneself - you can not dissapoint yourself : you can only take wrong routes or make bad choices but those are things you can change - you also seem to feel guilt for not feeling enough for others and if you do it will be a million times too much : is this some form of mild codependency in that you feel responsible for what is not yours to begin with ? and why would it be so that you won't feel anything or not for long ? do you bottle up your real feelings - regarding another but mostly regarding yourself ? thinking is a pit you can fall in with overthinking : get real on what it is you want to do to feel genuinely good about yourself and your life and start implementing steps - even just small ones - you may feel fine when you're around other people because either you put up a mask which makes you forget for a while or they manage to take you out of your concerns : but one comes always back to oneself - pick up the gym again : exercise is known to boost endorphines, serotonine and dopamine (feeling good chemicals) and adrenaline gives you the drive
Please go talk to psychologist, psychiatrist. Take medicines. Stop drinking. Take control of life.
Do not go for those medicines.they are really harmful.just try to have counselling more n more.