Please somebody help me. I don't know what I should do
I know this is a long read, but PLEASE PLEASE, I need someones input. I never thought at 40 yrs old i could feel heart break like this. Idk what to do. I was with this Man for two years. I went through so much just to be with him. He broke up with me in July. It took me weeks to feel somewhat normal enough to go on with my days. Without crying without feeling sick to my stomach
September comes around my grandson gets rushed to the hospital for severe brain trauma. He was put into induced coma. And was in the hospital for a month. He text me asking me about my grandson. It starts from there. Texting me everyday. Starting every morning with the good morning text. Texting all day till 1/2 am, flirting with eachother. Inviting me to his place, telling me how hard it was to get me out of his head, how can he move on knowing what he had, he came to my place one night (I'm sure you can figure out what happend there) This Man is well aware of how I feel about him. I've made it clear how I feel about him. and he knows I don't sleep with someone I LIKE, I do that with someone I LOVE.
Two days later he's told my ex was staying with me, which was a lie. Well the texting stopped He saI'd he was just trying to be a friend because of what I was going through with My grandson. Then I PROVE that it was a straight up lie. He said he was sorry for not believing me. I spill my gutts to him and he said what do you want me take say? That I want to get back with you? That hurt.
November comes around. Ithe day before Thanksgiving his ex and her two kids, that he raised go out to his place get into his garage and take stuff (marital home). Drama, drama, drama. Moving on. . The day after Thanksgiving he text me these messages.
Hello. Ya know the thong that really bothers me the most about all that has happened. I stood behind christina and bubba. Had their backs and not yours. When we were together. Believed them and not you. Let them be little u and trash talk you. Pretty much make our lives hell. And I let it happen. Why didn't I listen to the people that did care about me. Teddi set out to destroy anything I had. And wanted to have.
Now I sit here and still to this min can't believe those 3 ever were a part of my life. I'm not blaming them for who I have become. But it really hurts that I gave so much and tried so hard to be the best dad I could to them. And all they care about is themselves and what they can get for free and It don't matter who they on to get what they want. Wasted 15 years of my life trying to give 4 people the best life I new how. And only 1 appreciates it. And that one person I treated as a problem through his whole childhood.
I know we talked about that many times. But it still bothers me.
Any way I owe you a sinsear apology for putting u through hell. I was way out of line texting my ex talking to her. Lieing about doing that to you. And letting her destroy ur reputation, dignity, and most importantly ur beauty inside. She has never competed with ur external beauty or the person I met. She has hurt ur self esteem and made u out to be someone ur not! I as ur man at that time was a piece of . To let any of that go on. I'm sorry lachana for all the pain and mental abuse Logan and u endured while trying to be my women.
Also. I had a long talk with my dad yesterday. And told him alot of what went on with u jeff and I. He said his brother (clearence) has been a lier, thief, and has only cared about himself his whole life. And that trait must of fell down to his kids .
I guess jeff got a loan from his dad for 1200$ and jeff said it was to buy "his gf" you a car. So she can go back n forth to work and take care of her son. I'm guessing it was the blazer. Jeff said u and him were together. This happened when we were living in shenango. I told dad it was bs cause I had got u that car. Dad said he has no bad thoughts of you. And he takes u as the person he knows and met. He knows u were with jeff at one point. But u and I met after u and jeff were done. That's the way I left it. And he said all the other bs and he was told dosnt concern him. It is our business. And won't pass judgment on what was said. He considers the source.
I totally understand. They both portrayed u as the person I was divorcing. If u think about it everything they said u was doing was same as o liver in my marriage.
Well for what it's worth I think more highly of u than I say. U are truly an amazing mom, gamdma, and good to ur man. Jeff and teddi both sunk deep in my head and had me thinking u were someone u arnt. We had some really good times together. And some reallly bad times. But days go on. And I'm slowly forgetting all the bad times. So with that said. I won't look down on u for whatever u do.
Yea i remember. That beer bread we made. That was so damn good. Omg I don't know how we ate so much. I used to get soooooo jealous of dave picking u up. Stood at the window in living room and watched u leave. Ticked me off too.~BigAl~
Ur an amazing woman laci. Don't let anyone take u away from who u are. Not me not jeff not anyone. I admire u. I know I never said that. But i do. Probably willl never in my life ever meet a woman like u. U should smile at knowing that is true. That is gospel. And u will go far in life. U may not see that now. But u willl.
Our exes spent 2 years trying to split us up. I asked Him considering I haven't seen or even spoke to his dad in a almost a year so why did he even bother? It doesn't matter how his dad feels about me now. I told him it's great thanks for the apology but our exes got exactly what they wanted and the fact he realizes it now doesn't make me feel any better. Because all in all I lost the man I'm in love with over other peoples lies and manipulation. I text him how I felt. He didn't text till Sunday morning saying "just cause I don't respond to any of this doesn't mean I'm not reading them or understanding you, I replied I know exactly why your not responding. Nothing again till the next morning .
Hello. Good morning. Hope u had a nice wkend considering u were upset over this d*** head ex bf of yours. Any luck on the job thing. I wish I had the money those dudes do. I'd pay Ya just to pay Ya. Hahaha. Anyways. I wanted to inform u that if u mailed cell money it didn't come. Not b****ing just informing u. Ok ~Big Al~
I didn't respond back for hours all I said was I'm sure it'll get there. He reared back 3hrs later
Ok. Wasn't sure if u mailed cash or what. U know how the gold digger didn't get her checks through the mail
Well if it isn't there by Friday let me know then. And I'll send more or something That's all I can do Allen.. I'm getting dressed and ready to go to Phils so I'm in a bit of a scamper.
Ok. Will doo. U lucky. Going to Phills. I miss that place
Well you do know how to get there
Yes i do. And I plan on going again before the football games are all done.
Well he messaged me at 4 am the other night just to say OMG it's freaking snowing. We talked all that day(thursday) and a all later in the day Friday. Saturday I barely heard from him at all. Because he went out with his ex wife's sister, husband and some girl named Mimi and his friend Brian. What should I do? Make the effort or just forget about him? Leaving him alone hurts so bad. I do it, but it hurts. I just need some advice please..
Who told him that your Ex was staying at your home? You say "after spilling my guts to him, proving you were not lying about your,Ex He says" what do you want me say, that I want to get with you"
I might be wrong but I got the feeling that this man enjoyed reminding you of just how horrible he was to you. He says he sorry for the mental abuse he put you and Logan through so he's quite aware of what he he was doing. I could be wrong but I think he's still playing with your emotions and your psyche. Just reading his texts I didn't get the sense of any love coming from him, he comes across in a sinister way to me.
You say "Because all in all I lost the man I'm in love with over peoples lies and manipulation. Maybe your man never loved or cared enough about you and was only manipulating you to believe that there may be a chance- but then reminds you, I hope you don't think I want you back do you?
"Leaving him alone hurts so bad. I do it but it hurts" So is it THE WORSE HE TREATS ME, THE MORE PAIN HE CAUSES ME, THE MORE I LOVE HIM. Get away from this mental roller coaster. So decide who do you want to spend the rest of our life with, a man you still has not given you any sense of a stable,safe, secure, loving relationship. Do you feel he has ever shown you true love?
I would move on.
PS :He apologizes for texting his Ex and lying about it, and LETTING (as in allowing) his EX wife to destroy your reputation, dignity, she has hurt your self esteem and made you to be someone your not. This to me is a sinister- passive-aggressive way to remind you of what and how you lost yur self worth.
What's the issue regarding the cell? Are you on his cell phone plan?
Sorry about the missed spellings it was late :q).
@SOULMATE: Would love your insight. Am I miss reading this guy?
My ex drove by one night and seen Allens truck and that's who told Allen he was living with me. When I say I spilled my guts to him it was about my feelings. But I was able to get my ex on voice recording admitting he lied. I sent it to ALLEN.
Yes he has shown me true love. We were at the beginning so close and just the connection we felt was something I never in my life thought existed. He worked two jobs I worked, I would come home he'd have me dinner cooked, he even got me a car which I know he couldn't really afford, so many little things he did to show he cared. When he kissed me, hugged me, we'd spend 24 hours on the phone with each other when he worked over the road. It was a closeness I didn't feel with the father of my kid. We were so close. But yet he just wouldnt stop talking to his ex. He felt he had to keep things Civil because she was taking him for EVERYTHING! but my philosophy was that's what the attorneys are for. As for the cell phone it's on his plan, something he talked me into doing, dropping my plan and getting on his.
I would appreciate anybodies insight. I appreciate yours skinnygirl. Because I obviously have no clue. I unfriended him on fb. I put a post up of my tree and I am a smart-ass it's who I am. It's me. Well in the post I said decided to get rid of the tree I used the last two years it was kind of a weak half ass tree anyway just like the man I was with when I bought it. Lol! It just came out like that. He text me this morning and said "Hey if u feel tge way u do towards me think of what u think of me. Then why don't ya just mail that phone to Mr and ya would never have to speak to me the rest of ur life. ~Big Al~
So I'm guessing he's going on my fb? Why are you going on my fb? Why are you concerned about what I'm doing? I didn't respond to the message at all, because what do I say to that anyway? Just because I have this phone doesn't mean I need to talk to you at all.
I do understand how you were so emotionally attracted to him, because he gave you attention that you so needed, however I think this attention was really gloated as him caring for you. This guy was playing both side against the middle. Using you character as disposable trash. It was never as you felt it was, it was always as he describes it, the demeaning, be-belittling, trash talking, demoralizing with the sole purpose of mentally abusing you.
In your post you said "It was kind of a week half ass tree anyway just like the man I was with when I bought" BRAVO!BRAVO! IT CAME OUT AS YOU MEANT IT! Reminds me of the saying" Fool me once shame on YOU, Fool me twice shame on ME!! To bad the post office doesn't make rectal deliveries!!!
So mail the dam phone ASAP (please) Get on with your life and the next door that will open .
When you kick someone to the curb, you kick them as hard and far as you can AKA: No further Contact
You can get another phone, any phone I'd get pre-paid phone just to end it. Why be connected to him and his GOLD DIGGER.
You deserve much better and always have.
Well I was doing just that. No contact. He text me. Now Jeff is the ex that lied and said he was living with me. No these text msgs he brings up were from a month or so ago.
Hey this is lier asshole looser weak ass man. Whatever u call me these days. Hope everything is going ok for ya. like to talk to u. Got something that u might want to know. I just finally read the messages jeff sent me.
I'll be going to bed soon. Got to get up for work at 2:30. So if I don't answer u that is why. I just feel u need to know this. But if ur not concerned. Then never mind. K
I think he done read those messages. Maybe not idk..
Can I call u. I don't want a paper trail. Just for ur ears. Cause I'm not stirring shit.
How can one person make someone like me so weak? What is his game?
His game is I'll keep wearing her down because in the end she always comes around she always does. He does'nt make you weak, you choose to fall back into the weaken position. Your a female we are wired by our emotions/feelings- so we fall back no problem as longer as we recognize this and fall forward/straight up to STRONG. This guy has the gift of gab," But if ur not concerned" As if you NEED to be concerned total bulls*@it.
Usually it takes a good 3 weeks to get someone out of your system. You deserve better than "this is liar asshole looser weak ass man" at least he got his name right finally LOL.
Remember what baggage comes with man and always will. Text only if you do talk to him paper trails don't lie.
"How can one person make someone like me so weak? What is his game?"
His game is to be passive aggressive and to wear a "poor me" shirt, so you run in and tell him what to do and how to do it.
He seems needy and like a wounded bird. Want ANOTHER drama in your life? Do you want this kind of man in your life?
You seem to have a lot of unfinished business from your past. Get that cleared up and in its place. Then the next man that comes alone with know that you are your own woman and have no toxic ties to the past.
@SUSIEDQQ The only unfinished business from my past is Allen. And I go without talking to him but then he will text me. Didn't hear shit from him all day Saturday. Then Sunday at 10 at night he msgs out of nowhere to tell me how he had to take his dog to the vet and found out he has allergies to his dog food and he thought he'd let me know since he knows I give my dog kibbles n bits. No dumbass I give her pedigree. And you already told me about taking your damn dog to the vet on Friday.I mean seriously? Msgs me about stupid shit. I told him once before months ago.I will not stay friends with you.my feelings are still there so no I cannot be friends with you it's not fair of you trying to be friends with me either.respect that.. A real man would respect that. Jeff my ex still needs to come to terms were over and he finally did. I don't hear from him at all anymore if that's the past you were referring to.
@SKINNYGIRL you're absolutely right. I am the one continuing to do this to myself. And put myself in this situation.I seriously need to revamp myself completely and be me again. I think if fate is a real thing it spoke to me today it gave me a sign saying " HEY DUMBASS WAKE UP!" Woke up this morning and my phone is gone. Nowhere to be found.I only live in a small two bdrm apt. So I am now using an android tablet..LOL makes me think..