Abusive mom PTSD help
Hi Im new
So Ive had a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with my mom for ten years now since I was five.The bruises heal but post traumatic stress disorder is really hitting me hard right now. We called the cops before but nothing changed so yeah
Im also dealing with anxiety and I hate feeling like this
I'm sorry, I don't know much about this. But I'd say just to surround yourself with people that would make you feel better whenever that happens. Make friends, it might be hard to let other people in, but if you're not going to be able to lean on anyone in hard times that's even worse. Have someone you can trust. If you have a best friend, just go over to her/his house, don't cry alone. If you're religious, pray to God; maybe he'll answer your prayer, and eventually solve your problems. Study hard at school, so that you can have a good job and get out of that house asap (but after you feel like you can survive on your own). Fantasies, it will distract you from the present, might also make you smile. Also, to distract you from the present, read books because you will feal like your in a different world for a while. I'm so sorry you have to through that.
Are of a age where you can leave. If you can consider doing so
Alexa, does your school have a student counsellor with whom you could talk all of this over and out?
maybe you in age of indeed being able to legally leave home or find a student counselor and/or social support-help : it's best if you can get out of this environment as much as possible or for good
as for ptsd - the sometimes sudden and brutal upsurges of stress and anxiety can be really taking a toll because then it's hard to not become over nervous and totally freak out : to avoid this level of stress you have to try and prevent their coming up - the most immediate thing is to get away from the environment and people who trigger the ptsd - then take extra good care of yourself - treat yourself with double doses of kindness, sweetness and tenderness - take naps when you can and sleep a lot : sleep is very healing - lead a healthy, calm and stable life with good structure and habits - give yourself goals and activities in which to canalise the energy - do something physical : invest your intellectual, emotional and physical energy in doing things that will positively build you life up and when not - rest - take it one day at the time and keep focus
Make Lemonade out of those lemons, in other words.
Yep, agree. But first, Alexa, you have to understand it all so as not to take it too personally/disempower its hold over your mind. Try this life truth: Nice people are happy people/Happy people are nice people. Nasty people are miserable people/Miserable people are nasty people.
Usually what renders someone long-term miserable is down to someone else having been nasty to them too impactfully or for too long. Your mum is clearly not a happy bunny (understatement!) and has no-where to (sleepwalkingly) PUT that putrid pass-the-parcel type package, save for you. It's not about you or how she feels about you (other than seeing you as strong enough to take it). It's about her and her pain and confusion. Try to appreciate that and not only rise above the insult and rejection it only SEEMS to be, but use the fact that having had a tougher childhood than the average leaves YOU tougher (bigger mental muscles). And that makes you special and more capable than the average (most of whom with the happy-happy childhood leave the family home as WIMPS compared to one such as you). That's the sort of thing people mean when they say, Every cloud has a Silver lining (another truism).
Therefore, one can choose to sit and whinge about their bad experience or fashion it into a rare and amazing survival and prosperance tool and get busy.
What do you want to do when you're older, and does it require toughness and independence of mind as well as an ability to think fast and cleverly on your feet?... because, as I say, your mum/your mum's abuser might well have perversely done you a HUGE favour.
This pass-the-putrid-parcel game from parent to child to parent, etc., can stop, full-stop, with YOU (if you're clever and resourceful enough) (which by now you will be).
yes Soulmate - beautiful reply : respect
(Why, thenk-hyou verray much and "backatcha", kaind Sah!