Relationship issues with parents
Thanks for reading my post. This is first time I am posting my problem online as I am getting out of options.
I belong to a country that is not as broadminded like western countries. My parents specially are not.
I live in United States from last 10 years and my thinking and way of life has changed. I love a girl who is not from my country and we have religious and cultural differences, although that doesn't bother me but definitely bothers may parents. She loves me a lot . We are very happy with each other but my parents are against this marriage and things have gone dirtier from last 2 months as my parents are with me and staying in the same house and keep asking me and convincing me not to marry her. Instead they want to marry a girl of their choice because it will be nightmare for them to answer all nagging questions from the family and society and they have to go through all this shame (according to them this is shame).
I am really tensed and in darkest phase of my life handling all this and I don't know how to convince them that I am happy with her. My biggest problem is how to convince them that international marriages are not big deal anymore specially in the place I live and will spend my life.
I want to make them happy and want to do this marriage when my parents happily accepts us. Seeing them sad and going through all this pain doesn't make me happy. On the other hand I don't want to leave my girl friend because I know she is the one I want to spend my life with.
Your opinion and advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank You very much.
well, i may not really in the place of giving advice but this is what i think. i think it's quite a bother actually living like that, i knew because we actually not live so much different live from others. but i think you should convince them and prove that she is worthy to become part of your family. show them that international marriage is something that should be encouraged more. you know, marriage between different race could produce even a great offspring. i know because i'm one of the offspring. but you know, it's you, it should be you, the one who need to prove to your parents that you really wants that to work, wants that to happen because you're the one who will get married, not them. if you really had something that really guarantee your future with her, you should just need to push them, to talk to them that yo really want to marry her. as of the cultural and religious difference, the difference would not be a problem. it's not something that fixed, i mean for the cultural. you'll be living with her, she will be living with you too. so, it's no problem as you both will work for that difference
your parents just want the best for you. they're just want to assure that you won't regret anything later. they live longer than us, and had gone through a lot than us. that's why they're parents.
well, that's only my humble opinion. i don't know if it's helping or not. but i really do hope that you'll choose what best for you. marriage is not something that we can play. it's not a play house. you'll be with her for the rest of your life. i hope you'll find the resolution soon.
Your parents must deal with this perceived shame and threats about their "status" in the community. All that that takes precedent above the happiness of their own son! Shame on them!!
In the meantime, be sure they get to know this girl and perhaps they will take time to get to know her and how good she will be for and how happy she makes you.
If not, then you have some decisions to make. But this is YOUR life, not theirs.