Long distance friend with a long distance relationship
The problem here is that I have a friend who currently lives in a neighbouring country(I am male, she is female) she is in a long distance relationship with a man on a different continent(we are all in our 20's), and will be moving there in January.
We have been extremely close friends for a couple of years now(never anything romantic), mostly over the net but she also came to visit me once.
We had planned that she would come to visit me for 10 days, and that was all set, and her boyfriend knew about this and was fine with it.
Then suddenly, now 3 days, he is having a fit, she thinks he will leave her if she goes to see me, both me and her have had several problems with depression as of late, and she is miserable where she lives as she does not speak the language, and few like speaking english, so she has almost no friends there, and thus spends alot of her time by herself.
This was supposed to be a "goodbye" trip, as well as a healing trip for the both of us, getting to hang out and just have fun, but he seems sure that we have had a relationship that he doesn't know about, I have never said anything that would even hint at that.
I really don't know what to do, I never go on these kinds of forums, but I don't know where to turn right now.
Is it possible for other friends to be part of the ten day visit? The boyfriend may feel less apprehensive about it if more people are involved. Maybe it is the amount of days she will visit that has him upset. Or maybe he doesn't think he can trust her for some reason. In that case, is there someway she can communicate with him during the trip that would make things better? Since he already said ok to the trip, he can't just change his mind when he feels like it (unless there is a good reason). I mean the fact that she even told him she was planning a trip should count for something. She may have to either postpone the trip or go ahead with it. I would try to find out if there is a reason, maybe you could communicate with him somehow about it. There may come a time when your friend has to choose between you and her boyfriend, but let's hope that doesn't happen.
We'll be meeting up with other friends as well, and we offered to change the length of the stay, I also told him she can phone him every day when she's here.
I have no idea why he has changed his mind, but this guy stood her up at an international airport once, left her waiting for hours, I tried talking to him, and I don't think he quite knows himself why he's not ok with it.
How odd. If he can't give a legitimate reason as to why he has changed his mind, then I would say that it is up to your friend. If I were her, I would go anyway, especially if he is just being a jerk. He should be able to say why he doesn't want her to go.