Looking for a female friend only
on Dec 21 2015 at 21:13
I'm a black male, late 50's, pretty good shape, not overweight, never smoked or consumed alcohol, never used drugs, look and feel younger than my age. Been in and out of marriage and relationships. At this time I'm just looking for a good female friend to chat with, have lunch or dinner, catch a movie, or just spend some conversation time with. I know I may or may not get some negativity with what I'm preparing to say, but, at this juncture I would prefer a Caucasian female, slender physic and do not have to be a beauty queen. Open for suggestions.
on Dec 22 2015 at 10:42
Wow what an amazing coincidence as i am looking for the same thing. Nice that we can share our problem on this site.
on Dec 22 2015 at 13:01
Hey Doug, thanks for your reply. Any idea of what your planning to do for a resolution?
on Dec 22 2015 at 19:46
CLA57 Have you looked into any of those dating sites?
on Dec 22 2015 at 20:23
Yes SKINNYGIRL, and thanks for responding. Seems like they are all for date hookups in the sense of relationships. I really am looking for a friendship.
on Dec 24 2015 at 09:13
Just curious why Caucasian as a preference do you find white females easier to relate to?
on Dec 24 2015 at 11:46
And, Doug, I'm curious as to why your opening post presents more like a dating-site profile than a request for help with an actual problem.
on Dec 24 2015 at 11:46
Sorry, not Doug - CLA57.
on Dec 24 2015 at 15:13
Hello SKINNYGIRL, I believe people are people in regards to race, also after rereading my post, it appears I made it sound as if I have no female friends. There are currently a few I converse with on occasion but I get the signals of relationship rather than friendship. To answer your question, I had a platonical white female friend earlier and we got along very well. When we had time, We would meet over coffee, lunch or dinner, check out a movie or open air concerts etc. I always felt unobligated when ever we were together, and that was fantastic. Our conversational topics were pretty much open to anything yet there were no signals of relationship or taking it to the next level from either of us. In fact, the only physical touching was a hug at hello and so long. I really enjoyed the discovery of differences in sharing our backrounds, lessons learned while growing up and general outlooks on life, it's expectancies and complexities. Can these topics be discussed with a black or any other female friend? Absolutely, but as stated, this is my preference.
on Dec 24 2015 at 15:39
Hello SOULMATE. Thank you for your interest. I shared my info and request with hopes of either connecting with someone in question or obtaining some insight. Looking at SKINNYGIRL's very first reply indicated she thought the same thing. I will try to be clearer with my situation.
on Dec 24 2015 at 16:41
As Moderator, my interest in this instance is in this forum and the emotional safe wellbeing of all and any of its occupants when on PP's turf.
Nope, sorry, trying to use this website for something it's not designed for is unacceptable, particularly when most of the women on here are currently vulnerable and at a serious disadvantage in the sense of not firing on all judgements and self-protective-capable cylindry like they should or would want and need. Did that, going by what the site name clearly suggests, not occur to you?
I think it did - to wit:
"[Can these topics be discussed with a black or any other female friend? Absolutely], but as stated, this is my preference",
It's illogical to try to present with any plausibility why you would prefer any female friend to be White using X, Y and Z as your justifications yet then in the very same breath admit that these qualities and characteristics have ZERO bearing on yours and woman's ability to get on famously and/or provide mutual camaraderie and intellectual stimulation and expansion, regardless of her ethnicity... *particularly* when you've demonstrated via this statement -
"with hopes of either connecting with someone in question [or obtaining some insight]"
- that you DO hold this agenda in with the one that seeks insights.
As a sum total this just translates to: 'Not telling you (but, whoops, did anyway)', equalling (at this precise point) half a faux pas.
So I'm going to have to half-discipline you, i.e. de-activate this thread in due course (having left time enough for you to read this), meaning, if you do genuinely still want feedback and insights, I've left you at perfect liberty to start afresh with a new, befittingly worded thread, with my blessing. Fair enough?
Before I do so, however, shall we tell this supposedly 50% agenda like it is and admit that you find White women MORE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE? Might you merely be trying to gain a relationship via the "We're just friends, honest we are!" door after having reflected and drawn lessons that you now wish to put newly into practise regarding WHY the past "friendship" REMAINED platonic? Are you additionally attempting to present to the outside world and its high streets the illusion of being one half of a relationship and (your perception?) with a Caucasian to-boot, the latter for reasons of (your perception?) public status elevation? Given the above empty justifications, I think I can be forgiven for concluding this and disbelieving your intentions generally, as well as asking - would that attitude not demonstrate inverted racism on your part, your implying so strongly that Black women are to your mind somehow inferior, in the process simultaneously attempting to flatter White women, including all here present, into believing they're going to automatically be put on a pedestal should they take you up on your subtle offer?
on Dec 24 2015 at 17:08
WOW SOULMATE, totally taken out of context in my opinion, however, we each are entitled to our own. I absolutely respect your position as moderator but not your conclusion of accusations. I will relinquish your perspectives for you to deal with since within your mind you created them. I will apologize to any female you noted as vulnerable if they were or are offended including you if you are a female. I did not mean to be disruptive in any form and will close this account.
on Dec 24 2015 at 19:11
HA-HA! No, sweet-pea, you created them via your actions and then your so-called justifications. And you couldn't o-fend me personally if you tried. But nice try anyway. I love-love-LOVE how people who try it on attempt to make out it's NUFFINK they've done - TINGGG! - HALO - and just personal issues on my part.
Yup, RIDDLED with issues, me. That's what the job ad asked for: "Only those dripping with issues, please".
(Stop it - my sides hurt!)
on Dec 24 2015 at 19:17
Actually, on second thoughts, you're too funny. So I'm going to hold off freezing this thread for my own Christmas amusement.
Tell me another, go on. Oh, go onnnn...."Go aan, go aan, go aan, go aan, GO AAN...."
on Jan 1 2016 at 17:42
CLA57: SOULMATE's comments were in my opinion on point, and I felt that your preference for a friendship only (non whites need not reply) was racist/insulting to WOMAN regardless of race. Your decription gave you away -White, slender physique, so-so looks (really).
Why not request a Lesbian to ENSURE feelings won't develop? (LOL)
No SOULMATE didn't create anything she just kept it REAL.