Husband doesn't want sex, really affecting me emotionally
It's been two months since we had sex and the past three times it happened, I feel like, were only because I did all the work(which is fine) and even though he finished it felt like he just wasn't really into it. Hard to explain, but he literally said "if you want to but I'm just going to lay here". We still kiss(no more than a smooch) and cuddle once in a while. I tried to put it aside, thought maybe it's just because he's stressed or depressed from the gloomy time of year, I've even giving up asking for it because Everytime I have I get rejected.
The lack of sex and physical affection has lately started making me feel really bad about myself, like I've done something to turn him away from me or for some reason he's no longer attracted to me. We had our first child 6 months ago and have been self conscious about certain things since then and all of the recent rejection is making me think and worry about those things more too. I've tried doing my makeup the way he likes and dressing nice for when he comes home but it seems to almost always go unacknowledged. I don't like being a jealous, self conscious person but this is really getting to me. Tonight I saw an old picture of a wet sheet in his phone and I believe a picture of him with an ex and it really upset me. I know they're old pictures but the thought that he even looks at them EVER hurts my heart. When we got together I deleted any ex pictures I had saved in my email or phone, I felt it was disrespectful to keep them and honestly they no longer did anything for me. Do most guys keep things like that after they get in a new relationship/get married and start building a family???
I guess what I wanted to know is, is this normal? Do all couples deal with periods like this?? Am I wrong for feeling the way I am? Any suggestions??
Sorry for the long post,I think I needed to vent a little so I didn't burst into tears like I have a few nights over all this.
I think it's important to talk to him about the issue
If he's anything like me he wouldn't want to talk about it so maybe suggest go seeing a sex therapist cause they do have some good ways of resolving intimacy issues if both sides are willing to try
Me and my girlfriend don't have a kid and I already feel like I don't wanna have sex or have low sex drive
Mostly because my job is demanding and tiring and I can imagine having a child brings more stress to his and your life
But that doesn't mean I don't love her cause I do
Whenever I find her sexier and I wanna have sex is when she has her own ambitions and interests that occupy herself...kinda like what a girl sees in a guy
But still manage to make time for me and thinks of me as sexy
Don't take my word for it but that's when I find my girlfriend to be more attractive
I'm in the exact same situation, but I think venting helps a little. Right now, I'm trying to preoccupy myself with other things, hoping maybe this period will pass. I've read a crazy amount of articles over the past week or two, but they all seem to have some things in common. It's easy for us to blame ourselves, but there are other factors to consider. Time, stress, laziness, fetishes, low testosterone, and the list of possible causes goes on and on. In other words, I'm trying not to think of the worst-case scenarios (cheating and/or his lack of interest), but it's easier said than done.
You're definitely not alone in this. My boyfriend basically said the same thing "you can go ahead, but you're going to have to do all the work." Even with full makeup, new lingere, and yada - I get smooches or he lets me give him oral, but hardly any sex. It sucks!!
Hang in there though, and I'll do the same. /hugs