I think my marriage is in trouble... (long post)
I'm new here so please forgive the long post. I'm just going to lay everything out on the table.
My husband and I have been married for a little over 3 years. He is from outside the US and I am from the US and for the first 3 years of our marriage we lived in his country. We just moved to the US a couple of months ago. We got married young and quickly in a whirlwind romance after knowing each other as friends for several years. Many people thought it was too fast but we were really solid and so happy.
Now that we're here in the US, some pretty serious problems have arisen. He's very controlling, especially about money. My sister mentioned that it often seems like he's the only one in the relationship making decisions. My family doesn't really like him and he doesn't really like my family which is a huge stress and extremely upsetting for me. I think he doesn't like them as people and they think that he controls me and he kind of makes it obvious that he doesn't like them. For example, when we're all together he'll just be on his phone or we'll leave an event early because he doesn't want to be there anymore. The biggest issue is that he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong so he gets angry at me when I say anything. Really I'm just hesitant to tell him anything at all anymore because we constantly fight and I always end up apologizing even when I don't think I did anything wrong. He blows little things out of proportion and then when I apologize he says that I act like I'm doing him a favor and that I never "do enough" when apologizing. We also keep having big emotional conversations about our issues and we always say we don't want to get divorced but I think we're both really afraid we're not going to make it.
Additionally, he never wants to have sex. Every time I try to initiate he says he's tired or doesn't feel like it and that's starting to take a toll on me. I also am ready to have a baby but I know bringing a baby into this mess would be a mistake.
The whole situation is really out of hand. I feel like I'm always putting on a happy face in front of my family but they can tell there are serious problems and when my husband and I are alone together, we're either fighting or not spending time together. He won't see a therapist and all of our talks are unproductive. I really just don't know what to do anymore. I love him but is a marriage with this many issues even worth saving?
I'd really appreciate any advice. I feel like I'm really floundering and I don't know where else to turn...
Hi im new to this to and im having issues in my marraige as well similar to yours the good thing is that you guys dont have children togther so it would be a easier divorce. Do you still love him? If you do i believe you should try to make it work
Hi MINNIE4, I do still love him but it's so complicated right now. I want to make it work but I don't know how...