My partner of 3 years has invited me to his work do. Later he told me that I might want to go home early as the boys wanted to go on to do something else... strip club or brothel who knows. I told him that I was not fine with that and it's a deal breaker. Am I being unreasonable? This is extremely upsetting to me that he even mentioned it, I can't stop crying as now I think that he doesn't care about me.
I can understand how you can be upset, but he may just want to spend some time with his friends. On the other hand, I do not know how he usually acts. Is this the first time this has happened? How does he usually treat you (does he act like he cares about what you think)? Do you have any reason to worry about what he will be doing (how does he usually behave)? Talk to him more about how you feel and see if he can somehow make you feel better about what happened. After that, if you don't believe that he has good intentions, then you can A. break it off with him or B. leave him if he says/does something like that again.
He doesn't enjoy these places and the guys he doesn't know they just work at the same place and he wouldn't socialise with them at any other time. I just think he wanted to see my reaction as I don't think he would jeopardize our relationship for just a few hours that he would not enjoy with people he thinks are dicks. I just wanted to know if it is unreasonable to not allow someone to visit these places when I know from working in the medical sector that these places are exploitive to women and rapes increase after men visit strip shows so I am ethically and morally against them. I just can't condone someone I love promoting this behaviour in society.
Ok, I see the situation better now. You are reasonable about this, and he may have just said that to you maybe to get an excuse to not go, or like you said, to see your reaction. Have you told him why you are against it, because he should respect your feelings about it and make the decision not to go to strips clubs or places similar to them.