Is my boyfriend wrong? Or am I
So my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months now and the relationship has been pretty solid so far. I thought we were doing really good until i found what i did. I know i shouldnt have been snooping, but im the type to be jealous and insecure;ugh i know i know. But anyways my boyfriend has been out of the country for the last 2 weeks so me being me i logged into his facebook and looked at his search history and found quite a few girls he was looking up, a few i know he has either been with before or has liked. Mind you hes not friends with anyone of these girls in real life anymore or on facebook. So i thought it was kinda weird he would intentionally look them up. Well me being crazy like i am i put the pieces together and realized he was jacking off to these girls pictures. When i confront him about it he admitted to it and says hes so sorry and it was only an accident and blah blah blah. How do you accidentally jack off to girls we both know? not just once but a few time too. for me this really hurts. One of the girls he was jacking off too i know for a fact they used to sleep together. So how should i feel about this? Im 100% ok with him looking at porn, cuz thats more unrealistic he doesnt actually know those girls on the pornos. The girls he was jacking off to on facebook he 100% knows who they are. I understand having fantasies too, imagining certain things. But to actually go check out her pictures and do that, i feel is wrong. Is it? Am i just over reacting? Can we move past this. Cuz right now im extremely hurt i feel like im not enough for him, and i fear hes always day dreaming about these other girls. *** also i have in fact sent him 'dirty pictures' while hes away but he still has too look at these other girls??? is there anyway i can justify this?
I think this is not ok - if he's to be with you then he must be with you - if he "needs" to get his satisfaction elsewhere - then there's a problem - if he then "needs to get it" with girls on the internet - whether through porn, cybersex, ex-girlfriends or girls he doesn't even know - then that's weird
I agree that looking at porn now and then doesn't mean that much if it's only for some erotic fantasy but if he needs to do that on his own and not share with you - that's not ok : he is indeed shielding you/keeping you away from a part of his life that has to do with the way he privately finds sexual and erotic satisfaction : but since you're together - why can't he share those "private" parts with you ?
some people don't mind getting involved in cybersex - could he be tempted to get you involved at some point in his sexual doings on internet ? such as having you send him pictures of you and as a next step making you participate in things online ? would you like to participate or do you think otherwise ? what are your opinions on this subject ?
what is he evading ? emotional intimacy ? commitment ? is he hiding a sexual addiction ? something he thinks he can't share with you because either "you're not enough" or you're his girlfriend so you can not be a "hot thing" ? is he putting you in a mental box ?
what image does he have of himself ? does he think he's not enough ? are you having satisfying sex in bed together ?
you shouldn't accept something you basically don't agree with : even if in a relationship with someone - our first relation is always to ourselves : you have to stand in your integrity