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Am I losing her

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I have a complicated situation. I have been married for 27 years but have not wanted to be married for many years. I did not get married under the best of circumstances to start with.
Then I fell in love with a woman I had known for years.
I did not feel any guilt for seven months. Then guilt hit me in the form of a panic attack.
The woman I fell in love with asked if we should step back so I could sort things out. That was on a Wednesday. On Thursday I asked if we could do that. She said she will wait for me. We still talk occasionally. But she used to text me more and now she doesn't. I don't know how to ask her about that or if I should even bring that up.
As another wrinkle, she has been in a long distance relationship with another man, who is also married, for more than 10 years. He is coming to visit soon, and I know she is wondering about having sex with him, as that is what he wants. That's really the basis for their relationship.
She said it isn't fair to me, but should I tell her to go ahead because honestly, I don't think I can be intimate with her until I am divorced.

Am I losing her

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Think about your marriage and your wife. End it first before moving onto someone else. As for the woman you fell in love with (without being judgmental), how can she be the one for you when she has been with another married guy for 10 years and she's still there? You should tell her to go ahead and keep going. How can she wait for you when she's seeing another guy?

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