Can our marriage be saved?
Hi well first time at this but hay if you don't try you won't know right?!
My husband and I have been together for 9years married for 1.5years. This is not a new problem but probably the most meaningful. He has no sex drive or interest in me. I try my best but admittedly this makes me so down and unglued that I honestly have depression from it which doesn't help my mood although when it comes to physical contact I'm always game as that's the problem by that I simply mean even a touch of my hand and sudden hug maybe even a none Christmas or birthday kiss.
The longest we have gone without any form of contact is 8 months and this happens throughout the year unless I literally jump him! This time is 3 months but this one hurts the most as it's the first longer bout since we have been married something which for me meant the world as it was him saying yes I do want you forever! Hmmmm!
We have since had a row Christmas night where I go very angry and said I want it to be over and that it's not fair that he is pushing me away and into the arms of someone else (not that I could or want to) I love my husband very much I fancy him soo much I always try to get a glimpse when he is changing or any opportunity he make become naked! Sorry! He is very kind and gently and we'd give the world all he had but that doesn't make him a good husband. I feel so selfish and pathetic by arguing over this when I have so much more but I can't help that I'm a touch person touch means more to me than anything or gesture. And he knows this I'm just so lost this time he hasn't spoken to me since Christmas Day we are going about our business without talking healthy?!? Hmmm no but again I've left to make the first move same as I'm left to either jump him or argue wi him about it. Is there anything we could do or should I sob, suck it up and leave him to find someone who is really cares about?
Ask yourself why you need to be with a guy who abuses you and your marriage with the silent treatment. It's no way to discuss and solve issues. When he refuses to communicate with you, he basically controls you. If he can't/won't give you what you need and he decides to be childish about it, then he will push you way eventually and at the end of it all, you will be a very tired soul for fighting it all the time.
If you feel you need to jump him or argue with him (conflict) about it, then he has won again in a situation which shouldn't happen in a successful marriage. Sit him down and discuss with him why he has the need to abuse you when he wants to and why you decide to put up with it.
Why would you feel so pathetic and selfish about something in your marriage which should be a given?..and particularly after 9 years? He may be a kind and gentle man but his actions towards you, his wife, just don't sing.