It's been a while since I have been on here but needless to say I am having an issue that has been bothering me and I am just wanting to know if am the one being irrational about it?
My mom kicked me out of the house and fucked me over really bad and left me with no other options but either leave state and tough it out or stay with my emotionally abusive father.
I left state thinking that things would work and I ended up homeless in Virginia beach for a few months. My boyfriend went to jail because someone who wanted to be with me decided to look his information up online and he found dirt on him and turned him into the police. I ended up having to go back to my home town and move in with my dad because this guy was trying to pimp me out and I didn't feel safe. I ended up finding a way to get my boyfriend back out here but since I have been living with my dad in September, my dad has picked three or four fights with me and threatened to call the police on me because I stood up for myself and wouldn't put up with his crap.
My dad is very destructive and has always been a half assed father. He has always been unstable and been in and out of my life. Every time he goes through a nice period where he does the right thing, he's a great person, but then there is a period where he gives up because of difficulties and when he gives up he is absolutely intolerable, he is a selfish dick head, and he constantly berates me and my boyfriend. He can never hold down a job because he can't get along with people, and when I say he is destructive I mean, he is destructive as hell. He has destroyed his house and ghetto rigged everything because he doesn't want to pay people and pay them right when they make repairs or he constantly argues with them and tells them what they need to do even though what they do is how they make their living. He used to hoard thirteen dogs in the house and I told him he's either going to have me live there with him or the dogs because all thirteen of the dogs in the house have destroyed everything and pissed and shit all over the house. He got rid of all the dogs and found them a home, but he still has three cats and they continue to piss and shit everywhere because he doesn't clean their litter box. Nobody else in the house can because we all have asthma and allergies and cannot get around cats or cat litter period. I have literally cleaned his house to the best I could three times and he destroyed it all over again, he's lazy and doesn't pick up after himself and instead of getting up and walking to the trash can he throws his trash all over the floor.
He has three bedrooms and two of his bedrooms are filled from the top to the bottom with garbage and junk and since I was homeless he was talking about cleaning out one of the rooms and he still hasn't done it. Since I have been at his house, I have been in the living room but the big problem is his house is so awful and filthy and filled wth harmful allergens and molds from all the animal damage, I was admitted into the hospital for a half a week because my respiratory system was trying to shut down on me. I don't have a history of asthma and now since I have been living with him, I have to use an inhaler on a regular basis. He has such a major roach infestation, my back is covered in roach bites. Roach bites of all things!
I have been extremely down and depressed and have thought about killing myself since I have been here. He puts so much stress and bs on me and my boyfriend that it makes us fight really bad because he likes to stir the pot of problems and act like everything bad that goes on in the house is all our fault. We got into it so bad yesterday because of the stress of living with my dad, I blacked out and I started punching and slapping him,mi scratched up his face and I tried to stab him with a screwdriver. I feel so horrible for what I did Andy it's all because of the problems and stress he puts us through. We can't even eat anything without him flipping out, he flips out if we wash dishes and he flips out for us washing clothes.
I just got a new job and I work in a cubicle. If I don't wash clothes, they smell like his house. I can't go to work smelling like mildew and cat piss because he wants to act that way. I finally have enough money to get my own vehicle and someone is going to let us move in wth them when we get our own vehicle. But I am afraid to tell him we are going to have no choice but to leave and go. It's putting a stress on our relationship, and staying in that house is a hazard to my health and a hygiene risk. I cannot handle it. But I know when I announce that we are leaving, he will get his feelings hurt and he won't let us go without starting a fight. Should I get the olice to supervise my move incase he starts shit? I don't want to add insult to injury but I know if I don't take precautions he will pull something. What should I do?
Whatever you do DO NO GO BACK INTO THAT HOUSE-The house is toxic, the mold/mildew and infestation of bugs is a health hazard. If it were me I'd pitch a tent on the street before exposing myself to a poisonous toxic house.
Only Professionals who deal with hoarders and the effects of this type of poison of mold, mildew, feces, and infestation of roaches etc, should enter such a dwelling, and they would be equipped with proper hazards suits, gloves, protective boots and oxygen masks to protect their health. Announce nothing just go, you really don't need anyone to just leave. And yes this house is extremely hazardous to your health every minute you're in there.
Move out and inform him after the fact. Why go through an argument/fight you can avoid? I would also throw away your clothes away that still has the order of the house. Check out your local thrift stores, Goodwill Stores for clothes until you can buy some new ones.
I agree with Skinnygirl : out - out : you leave !
act realistically and yes indeed - take the necessary precautions to prevent your father from doing anything
don't tell him anything : just do it - go and leave - he'll find out when you're gone
you don't owe sh*t to such a man : at one point you have to cut the cord - father or not
the time is now : fly and spread your wings :)