Lost faith in the human race
I have had PTSD for a long time. I've controlled it pretty well with medicines and keeping busy. Last night I saw a video where a woman had tied up a small dog and was burning it to death with a blow torch. I turned it off soon as I realised what was happening before my eyes. The image since last night is forever in my head. It keeps flashing back out of know where and I feel depressed and want to break down and cry. Just like my PTSD is starting all over again. I just can't live my life this way again. I just can't...
im really sorry you feel this way. seeing that video would upset anyone but because your more sensitive at the mo it will play with your mind. have you tried counselling ?? or meditation ?? I have not suffered from ptsd, but I have suffered post natel and had depression for three years and I found listening to relaxing music/classical music and counting to ten. but of course everyone is different.
We used to have a medical channel on our city's TV stations, and that medical channel would show the most godawful things you ever saw. Diseases, gosh awful, and I remember thinking, this channel is awful. I didn't complain but someone else must have for that channel was taken off.
There were some things on that channel I couldn't forget. I still have certain TV shows or ads that come on my TV that I dispise, and I either change the channel or duck my head so I can't see the screen.
So you're not alone. That happens to everybody. Did they show the actual event of that, or just suggest that may be what happened on your TV show? Anybody would object to that.
As for the video, you did all you could, you looked away or changed the channel. There's no more you could do, so you can feel good about that. There's nothing more you could have done. It's not your fault.
Are you getting counseling? I am, for manic-depression, and take Lithium and an anti-depressant. To help me sleep, I take a health food store produce, Melatonin. I'm glad I don't have to take a sleeping pill.
It helps me to get out and walk my dog once a day. I get to see the outside instead of the inside. Sometimes I get to see some people and get to talk to them. It can get my mind off things.
Have you ever considered getting a dog? It makes me worry about the dog instead of myself so much. That's one of the reasons I'm on his site. It gets me worrying about other people's problems rather than just my own. It gets the flow of energy going in a different direction, from inward to outward.
Could you volunteer at a hospital or turtor children or teach children to read at a library, or some such volunteer work? Maybe you could talk to the director of a nursing home about talking with some of the people they have there, listen to their stories, write down and give them their memories back in a 3 ring binder, and copies to their children.
That again, would turn the flow of energy to someone's else's situation, and it would lessen the flow of energy inward so much. I don't have less worries, I have the same amount of worries. I just worry about other people. I still worry about myself, but I worry about myself less.
I read a column on being positive when trying to solve problems about 15 years ago, and it really helped me. This column said in effect you don't have to be positive all day long, which I couldn't do. It said, only be positive when you're trying to solve a problem. I could be positive for 5 minutes, but not all day long.
I didn't know it, but I had a negative unconscious that was stopping me from solving a lot of problems. The next time I have a problem, I said to myself, don't think about the problem, think about clearing the negative from your unconscious. I did, I said, "think positive, think positive," until I came up with a possible solution, and it worked. It wasn't the problem that was hurting me, it was my neg. uncon. that was hurting me.
Oh, you know what Anne Frank said prior to being on the last train to a death camp near the end of World War II?
She was taken to a death camp and killed. You know what she wrote in her diary, you remember the movie, "The Diary of Anne Frank?"
She wrote while she and her Jewish family were in hiding from the Nazi's; she wrote, "I still believe in the goodness of man."
She didn't give up on the human race because of all the bad eggs, and there are a lot of bad eggs. She ignored the bad eggs, and went straight to the good ones. We can't all be as good and smart and good as Anne Frank, that's true. That's why they'll never make a movie about us, because we're not as good as Anne Frank. That's true.
But we can use her as an inspiration. We can look at the good people, and not let the bad ones ruin our day. We can choose to try and help some people who are down, and not pay attention to the ones who are bad.