Stressed and having difficulty with husband's drinking problem
I am pregnant and under a lot of stress. I am feeling hopeless, tired, stressed, sad and I can't help but cry. My husband has been trying to quit drinking and has promised me that he would. He still drinks and it always causes problems.
I am constantly worrying about him when he drinks. I have to tell him over and over not to drink and drive. He barely listens to me and says that he is fine to drive, when I know he would be over the limit. I worry about him driving, what time he will get home, how much he will be drinking. Then stay up until he gets home to make sure he gets here safely.
Then the next day it is miserable. He is so grumpy and tired and a pain to be around. We always fight and he yells at me and then I cry for many hours because this makes me depressed. Then he sees how upset I am, says sorry, gives another broken promise of him saying it won't happen again and that he is quitting drinking. This is happening only on occasion, about once a month, which is way better than it use to be.
I have grown up with an alcoholic parent and I do not want my baby to be around one. I tell him how I will not tolerate this for our baby and that I can not handle this stress while pregnant. He admits he is an alcoholic and needs help. He is very slow at getting the help and puts it off. He will do really good for a while and then we will get too stressed out or have another excuse and have a drink or go meet one of his buddy's.
We are both under a lot of stress right now too. We just moved across the country a few months back and now we are moving again. We are moving this time for a great promotion my husband has with his job. We are moving close to his family and away from my family.
Also one of his parents is really sick right now and this has been really difficult to deal with.
I am very stressed about the move. I will not have my family close by and this is our first baby. This upsets me because when he gets mean to me after he drinks, where will I go? I don't feel comfortable with his family, it's not the same. I always thought my family would be helping me out more when I have the baby and now, this won't be so easy.
Then, there are no good job prospects for me where we are moving either. I know I will be at home with the baby for a while but after, I don't know what I will be doing.
I feel like I will be trapped and scared of being so unhappy especially if he doesn't quit drinking.
I am tired of talking with him about it because it is the same old thing over and over again. He promised me that he would not be drinking while I was pregnant to make sure I was not stressed out. I am in my third trimester and it is still going on.
We have been married for three years and together an additional three. He has always had a drinking problem but it never bothered me until I became pregnant because I don't want my baby growing up in an alcoholic home.
He has been doing a lot better and uses this as another excuse to drink. He use to drink everyday and really heavy on the weekends (meaning from the moment he is off work, to sometimes til 5am). He drinks now only a couple times a week, moderately.
I know he is trying and don't get me wrong, I love him so much. I just can't stand being this upset anymore. I don't think it is good for our baby and I wish and pray for him to stop drinking.
I guess I am looking for advice but most of all, it feels good just letting this out because I don't like to talk to anyone about it.
If your husband drinks moderately,then why does he try to find an excuse to drink and why does he need to drink because of stress? There is no excuse for his drinking, and you really do need to think about the child right now. I think he needs to quit cold turkey, because alchohol is just a problem that you don't need. Because what happens the next time he is stressed? He should be dealing with situations the best way he can, because they won't go away. He should be talking about them or at least find better ways to cope. He doesn't need to yell at you either to do so. The fact that you are sticking around while he is drinking and treating you badly enables him to continue doing it. I would A)give him until the baby is born to clean up his act. If not, you should find somewhere else to stay until he decides to actually get his act together, or B) The next time he starts drinking and/or arguing with you, you go somewhere else (with the baby if this happens after the baby is born) when he gets out of control. If he really cares about himself, you, and the child, he will seek professional help for his problems, because he can't handle them on his own right now. Talking to him about this is not working, so you need to give him a reality check, somehow.
Oh my Dear I know exactly what u going through except we have to go for invetro to fall pregnant. I'm just tired of sitting around waiting for him to get home. Or waiting for a change! I just wish I knew what to do, iv cryed iv left God knows iv done everything and no change. Anyone got advice?